...that at some point I could call you, just to say Merry Christmas, and happy new year! I know I will not be able to, but know that I am wishing you the best, in all things. Love moves in your direction, from my soul.
I love you my dear friend,
God bless..
Checking in-
~J~
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Tsaheylu...
...Might be the most beautiful word that has ever entered into my heart and mind.
This is my official review of the movie ‘Avatar’
Deep inside the mentality of the human being is something terrible. The drive to accomplish. Although it can serve a proper purpose in all things, it is very seldom that we see that drive put into use, by the best hearts in this world.
‘Avatar’ very well could be one of the best movies I have EVER seen, if not the best. Not because it has some of the most intense actions sequences, which if you know anything about me, you will know that I fancy a good action scene; and not because the CG was incredible, and not because the story was good. Although all of those things contribute to the success of a good film, those are not the reasons for which I designate this movie as such.
When I buy a film to add to my DVD collection, my purchases are not based on the top selling movies out at the time, nor are they based on the MPAA rating of the film either. They are based on the quality of the message within the movie. And if you have looked through my DVD collection, you know that every single one of my movies, regardless of rating, could be found being viewed when my mother is present; And this particular movie, will certainly be found among those when the time comes.
In the movie, the protagonist of the story hits it right on the head when he makes a statement: “If they have something we want, we make them our enemies, and can then justify actions to take war against them.’ I can’t say for sure if that is quote accurate word for word, but it is close. When humans want something, they take action to make enemies, and then feel proper in justifying further action to suppress and drive anyone who is an enemy.
The ‘Navi’ are an indigenous population of humanoids that live on the planet Pandora. “They are VERY hard to kill” says the colonel in the movie. But even more important than how hard they are to kill, is the reason they are there.
They believe to be connected to the flow of life on this particular planet through an entity called “The Tree of Souls”. It bonds the entire race of Navi, to the ancestors that have preceded them, and all those that will proceed them as well. They love the land, and though there are creatures of considerable might, strength, and danger…all things on Pandora are respected. Even when life is taken, a prayer is offered to the almighty deity, to receive the life force.
The Antagonist of the movie, is the idea, and action of war. Why? Because everything in the eyes of the human being is about money. Because a little mineral called unobtanium sells for $20M/kilo, these humans are willing to destroy, sacrifice, and murder in order to have it. They forced the Navi out of home tree, by destroying it. Then they moved in on the very “Tree of souls” in order to not just relocate the Navi, but to eliminate them. And for what…? Money.
The Navi stood to uphold the very value that maintains life, the creates life, and conjures appreciation of life, and they were nearly destroyed for it. They understood that “Tsaheylu”, or “the bond” of life, was the most important thing on Pandora, and they were willing to fight to protect it.
Human beings are considered to be the most sophisticated race on the planet. And yet, as such, we are the only race that will go to war for anything that will grant us a little more power or money, whether it be that humans fight over women, men, sex, land, money, greed, power, or anything else that we feel might be ‘advantageous’. But if humans could only realize that it is truly ‘Tsaheylu’ that makes us everything we are. But they don’t…it’s the drive, the same drive that moves us to accomplish, and achieve what ever is ‘needed’ that makes humans slaves to what has become the new human nature; pride.
I know some of you will have no desire to see this film, and to that I urge that you see it anyway, at least once. Reason being, this may be the most accurate depiction of the human mentality I have ever seen.
God help the human race...
Checking in…
This is my official review of the movie ‘Avatar’
Deep inside the mentality of the human being is something terrible. The drive to accomplish. Although it can serve a proper purpose in all things, it is very seldom that we see that drive put into use, by the best hearts in this world.
‘Avatar’ very well could be one of the best movies I have EVER seen, if not the best. Not because it has some of the most intense actions sequences, which if you know anything about me, you will know that I fancy a good action scene; and not because the CG was incredible, and not because the story was good. Although all of those things contribute to the success of a good film, those are not the reasons for which I designate this movie as such.
When I buy a film to add to my DVD collection, my purchases are not based on the top selling movies out at the time, nor are they based on the MPAA rating of the film either. They are based on the quality of the message within the movie. And if you have looked through my DVD collection, you know that every single one of my movies, regardless of rating, could be found being viewed when my mother is present; And this particular movie, will certainly be found among those when the time comes.
In the movie, the protagonist of the story hits it right on the head when he makes a statement: “If they have something we want, we make them our enemies, and can then justify actions to take war against them.’ I can’t say for sure if that is quote accurate word for word, but it is close. When humans want something, they take action to make enemies, and then feel proper in justifying further action to suppress and drive anyone who is an enemy.
The ‘Navi’ are an indigenous population of humanoids that live on the planet Pandora. “They are VERY hard to kill” says the colonel in the movie. But even more important than how hard they are to kill, is the reason they are there.
They believe to be connected to the flow of life on this particular planet through an entity called “The Tree of Souls”. It bonds the entire race of Navi, to the ancestors that have preceded them, and all those that will proceed them as well. They love the land, and though there are creatures of considerable might, strength, and danger…all things on Pandora are respected. Even when life is taken, a prayer is offered to the almighty deity, to receive the life force.
The Antagonist of the movie, is the idea, and action of war. Why? Because everything in the eyes of the human being is about money. Because a little mineral called unobtanium sells for $20M/kilo, these humans are willing to destroy, sacrifice, and murder in order to have it. They forced the Navi out of home tree, by destroying it. Then they moved in on the very “Tree of souls” in order to not just relocate the Navi, but to eliminate them. And for what…? Money.
The Navi stood to uphold the very value that maintains life, the creates life, and conjures appreciation of life, and they were nearly destroyed for it. They understood that “Tsaheylu”, or “the bond” of life, was the most important thing on Pandora, and they were willing to fight to protect it.
Human beings are considered to be the most sophisticated race on the planet. And yet, as such, we are the only race that will go to war for anything that will grant us a little more power or money, whether it be that humans fight over women, men, sex, land, money, greed, power, or anything else that we feel might be ‘advantageous’. But if humans could only realize that it is truly ‘Tsaheylu’ that makes us everything we are. But they don’t…it’s the drive, the same drive that moves us to accomplish, and achieve what ever is ‘needed’ that makes humans slaves to what has become the new human nature; pride.
I know some of you will have no desire to see this film, and to that I urge that you see it anyway, at least once. Reason being, this may be the most accurate depiction of the human mentality I have ever seen.
God help the human race...
Checking in…
Saturday, December 12, 2009
The 6th...
...sense is always an interesting subject of discussion. Some think its not real, many are terrified of its possible existence, and very few are even willing to test its presence. So I offer some insight, that might alter views and perceptions. Whether it does or does not, makes not difference to me.
Before serving a full time LDS mission, my mother did a couple things to help me prepare that at the time I thought were completely illogical, and quite ridiculous.
First, She sent me packing on a flight with a full size blanket and sheet set. I mean a big, thick, near comforter size blanket. Ridiculous right? I mean, I was going to Jamaica where the BAD winters might get down to a terrible 72 degrees or so. After a few weeks there and into the winter season, my body became climatized, and I indeed began to freeze there...I used that set my whole mission!
Thank you mother for sending me prepared.
Second, She packed my luggage with 12 extra shirts that I knew was just extra baggage that I wasn't going to need. I hated moving them out of the way every time I needed to repack or unpack in new areas. Little did I know how those would help me in the long run. I gave every single new shirt away to priesthood members that I had the privilege of baptizing down there. Was it coincidence? Or perhaps the evidential existence of what we call 'the 6th sense'?
Again, Thank you mother for sending me prepared.
And so in retrospect, I came up with things that I know I have developed in this life that also might share some insight into this idea.
Take the primary 5(in no specific order) and consider what they do.
1. Hear: To listen and convert the 'noise' of the world into messages understood by the brain
2. Smell: To breath in with the nose the fragrance of the world and convert the aromas into messages understood by the brain
3. Touch: To feel with the flesh the textures of the world and convert contact into messages understood by the brain.
4. Taste: To place something on the tongue and convert the characteristics of the world into messages understood by the brain.
5. Sight: To look at the world and convert color, depth, and object into messages understood by the brain.
But what if you could HEAR the colors, depth, and objects; SMELL the characteristics; TOUCH the noise; TASTE the fragrance; or LOOK at and interpret the textures by sight... Would this not constitute what we distinguish as possible evidence of 'the 6th sense'?
The interchangeable use of the primary senses, is a power that few are truly able to develop and use. That ability gives an intuitive perspective of the world we live in, and allows us to interpret primary signals into what many, if not most, would delegate as "wow" moments, simply because it seems as though some incredible feat was accomplished.
Consider the following:
- To hear the mountains and in result, smell a storm.
- To smell a stream and know before you taste the water that it runs from a pure spring.
- To taste a good meal simply by touching it with your hands.
- To touch a railroad line and know before sight could ever confirm that a train is indeed coming.
- To see a clear path by no other means than by listening...
One thing i know for sure...you don't need eyes to see...or ears to hear...or hands to feel...
These are small examples of the institution of 'the 6th sense'.
I hear mothers have the most exceptional development of this sensory perception. Most of the general world seems to fear and cower over the idea of "ESP" or extra sensory perception. Why should we be afraid of it? I know I will never be a mother, but I do wish to have the sensory capabilities that I know my mother has demonstrated in my behalf and in behalf of my safety and well being.
To all mothers out there, God bless you
Checking in...
~J~
Before serving a full time LDS mission, my mother did a couple things to help me prepare that at the time I thought were completely illogical, and quite ridiculous.
First, She sent me packing on a flight with a full size blanket and sheet set. I mean a big, thick, near comforter size blanket. Ridiculous right? I mean, I was going to Jamaica where the BAD winters might get down to a terrible 72 degrees or so. After a few weeks there and into the winter season, my body became climatized, and I indeed began to freeze there...I used that set my whole mission!
Thank you mother for sending me prepared.
Second, She packed my luggage with 12 extra shirts that I knew was just extra baggage that I wasn't going to need. I hated moving them out of the way every time I needed to repack or unpack in new areas. Little did I know how those would help me in the long run. I gave every single new shirt away to priesthood members that I had the privilege of baptizing down there. Was it coincidence? Or perhaps the evidential existence of what we call 'the 6th sense'?
Again, Thank you mother for sending me prepared.
And so in retrospect, I came up with things that I know I have developed in this life that also might share some insight into this idea.
Take the primary 5(in no specific order) and consider what they do.
1. Hear: To listen and convert the 'noise' of the world into messages understood by the brain
2. Smell: To breath in with the nose the fragrance of the world and convert the aromas into messages understood by the brain
3. Touch: To feel with the flesh the textures of the world and convert contact into messages understood by the brain.
4. Taste: To place something on the tongue and convert the characteristics of the world into messages understood by the brain.
5. Sight: To look at the world and convert color, depth, and object into messages understood by the brain.
But what if you could HEAR the colors, depth, and objects; SMELL the characteristics; TOUCH the noise; TASTE the fragrance; or LOOK at and interpret the textures by sight... Would this not constitute what we distinguish as possible evidence of 'the 6th sense'?
The interchangeable use of the primary senses, is a power that few are truly able to develop and use. That ability gives an intuitive perspective of the world we live in, and allows us to interpret primary signals into what many, if not most, would delegate as "wow" moments, simply because it seems as though some incredible feat was accomplished.
Consider the following:
- To hear the mountains and in result, smell a storm.
- To smell a stream and know before you taste the water that it runs from a pure spring.
- To taste a good meal simply by touching it with your hands.
- To touch a railroad line and know before sight could ever confirm that a train is indeed coming.
- To see a clear path by no other means than by listening...
One thing i know for sure...you don't need eyes to see...or ears to hear...or hands to feel...
These are small examples of the institution of 'the 6th sense'.
I hear mothers have the most exceptional development of this sensory perception. Most of the general world seems to fear and cower over the idea of "ESP" or extra sensory perception. Why should we be afraid of it? I know I will never be a mother, but I do wish to have the sensory capabilities that I know my mother has demonstrated in my behalf and in behalf of my safety and well being.
To all mothers out there, God bless you
Checking in...
~J~
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
LLP
...And no I am not talking about a limited liability practice or anything like that, I am simply talking about "Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of happiness"
How is it that A.J. knew to write that in the D.O.I.? I wonder what it means...and what it is exactly...
After many long hours, deep contemplation, steady meditation, here is what I have come up with:
Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness is alive only in ones heart...Life is given within every solitary beat that indeed proclaims I am alive. Liberty is exercised within every breath that fills my lungs! To inhale the very freedom that delegates the capability of our voices, allows us continuity of comfort by speaking...and how comfortable it is to speak with one, or many, that we find dear...the ones we share heart beats with.
And finally...the pursuit of happiness. The pursuit...is it a road we travel, or a path we are creating? Is it a job, career, house or income? Is it a person? Or perhaps an idea...?
All these things make me feel what I understand to be happiness. Memory, people, place, involvement, and you.....All things delegate what makes me happy...
Checking in....
~J~
How is it that A.J. knew to write that in the D.O.I.? I wonder what it means...and what it is exactly...
After many long hours, deep contemplation, steady meditation, here is what I have come up with:
Life, Liberty and the pursuit of happiness is alive only in ones heart...Life is given within every solitary beat that indeed proclaims I am alive. Liberty is exercised within every breath that fills my lungs! To inhale the very freedom that delegates the capability of our voices, allows us continuity of comfort by speaking...and how comfortable it is to speak with one, or many, that we find dear...the ones we share heart beats with.
And finally...the pursuit of happiness. The pursuit...is it a road we travel, or a path we are creating? Is it a job, career, house or income? Is it a person? Or perhaps an idea...?
All these things make me feel what I understand to be happiness. Memory, people, place, involvement, and you.....All things delegate what makes me happy...
Checking in....
~J~
Saturday, December 5, 2009
Checking in, December 5
I never quite understand why the things happen the way they do...all I know is that when in need there has always come a way that I could be provided for.
Its Christmas season, and I have done a good deal of shopping and most of it is done! Happy day! However, with the economic downfall ever in progress, jobs are looking more and more scarce. Sad day when we come to such things...
In the positive note, referring to earlier in the post, I have been watched over so well, that it would be foolish to say there has not been a higher power at work in my behalf.
I am the assistant program director of the Provo high ballroom program, the assistant director of the symphonic band at provo high, the color guard director at provo high, and starting next week as observation, and officially at the term end IN january, I will be taking over the choir program in place of the usual teacher who will be taking maternity leave for 6-8 weeks.
Here is how the rundown looks for the spring season:
January - March Competitive ballroom season including the nationals at BYU
January - April Competitive winter guard season including State championships at west high school.
January - March Choir Festival season including region here in utah.
January - March Musical(Fantasticks) at provo high.
Needless to say I think I am going to be EXTREMELY busy over the next several months...
People ask me how I do so much, and why?
All I can tell them is that I am in a place where I have turned everything inside off, and I like it that way. I keep myself busy enough that there is no place for things like that...at least not right now...
Everything is well, and I hope you know that I would only speak the truth.
B, it makes me happy that things are well for you. Congrats again on the new life! I am truly happy for you! :-)
I wish you the most very merry Christmas!
Checking in...
~J~
Its Christmas season, and I have done a good deal of shopping and most of it is done! Happy day! However, with the economic downfall ever in progress, jobs are looking more and more scarce. Sad day when we come to such things...
In the positive note, referring to earlier in the post, I have been watched over so well, that it would be foolish to say there has not been a higher power at work in my behalf.
I am the assistant program director of the Provo high ballroom program, the assistant director of the symphonic band at provo high, the color guard director at provo high, and starting next week as observation, and officially at the term end IN january, I will be taking over the choir program in place of the usual teacher who will be taking maternity leave for 6-8 weeks.
Here is how the rundown looks for the spring season:
January - March Competitive ballroom season including the nationals at BYU
January - April Competitive winter guard season including State championships at west high school.
January - March Choir Festival season including region here in utah.
January - March Musical(Fantasticks) at provo high.
Needless to say I think I am going to be EXTREMELY busy over the next several months...
People ask me how I do so much, and why?
All I can tell them is that I am in a place where I have turned everything inside off, and I like it that way. I keep myself busy enough that there is no place for things like that...at least not right now...
Everything is well, and I hope you know that I would only speak the truth.
B, it makes me happy that things are well for you. Congrats again on the new life! I am truly happy for you! :-)
I wish you the most very merry Christmas!
Checking in...
~J~
Saturday, November 28, 2009
The Future...
If you knew that your future would effect someone else's future, would you tell that other person, or just let the chips lay where they fall?
Who wants a go with this one? Interesting as it is, that this question is on my mind...
Most people think time is like a river, flowing swift and sure in one direction. But I can tell you they are wrong. Time is an ocean in a storm...and we are the elements...
If you behold the ocean in its tranquil and serene state, it is vast, deep, cold and possessive, and most important full of life. Within the depths of waters you will find that the serenity remains, and the tranquility of life is sustained. But above, the face of the deep is tossed and thrown according to the elements.
Time, the future, is then disrupted by the elements of the storm.
If we as elements of the storm can effect the ocean, one must ask: Why? If we knew what we could do, and the effects of those actions, would we really do them?
If I were the traffic light controlling the flow of traffic, am I really controlling it? Or am I just hoping to control it? It is established in place to maintain order...but someone, anyone can disrupt it at any time, making residual effects in front, and behind.
Time in the ocean is the same...would I act knowing that those deeds would effect the future pools of those around me...
...my heart says yes...
Who wants a go with this one? Interesting as it is, that this question is on my mind...
Most people think time is like a river, flowing swift and sure in one direction. But I can tell you they are wrong. Time is an ocean in a storm...and we are the elements...
If you behold the ocean in its tranquil and serene state, it is vast, deep, cold and possessive, and most important full of life. Within the depths of waters you will find that the serenity remains, and the tranquility of life is sustained. But above, the face of the deep is tossed and thrown according to the elements.
Time, the future, is then disrupted by the elements of the storm.
If we as elements of the storm can effect the ocean, one must ask: Why? If we knew what we could do, and the effects of those actions, would we really do them?
If I were the traffic light controlling the flow of traffic, am I really controlling it? Or am I just hoping to control it? It is established in place to maintain order...but someone, anyone can disrupt it at any time, making residual effects in front, and behind.
Time in the ocean is the same...would I act knowing that those deeds would effect the future pools of those around me...
...my heart says yes...
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Jeez!
Jack...buddy, you really are gonna make someone kill over, and it might be me... I just hope you are doing well, and that you really do take it easy for a little while so we all don't have heart burn or anything.
Know that I am looking out for you buddy!
Love ya~
...me...
Know that I am looking out for you buddy!
Love ya~
...me...
Thursday, November 12, 2009
12 November 2009
I am here, getting ready to start the winter season. The old team, and those interested in becoming part of the new winter team will be here right after school to make the recruiting posters and advertisements to hang around the school. I have finally completed the rendition of mixed themes and music that I will be using to write the new show, and it is, as far as my opinion is concerned, amazing.
"Now we are free"
This is the name of the show, and the musical themes are those of the Gladiator soundtrack. The idea is to portray through flag and rifle movement, the story of Maximus Decimus Meridius. General, Father, Husband...slave. Taken after his family were murdered and crucified alive, to become a slave sold into the provinces of the roman empire.
The themes articulate the moments in his life that make the story of such epic caliber. Each changing musical theme will illustrate a different part of his story, taking him from military power, stripped and left with nothing as a slave, then to the arena where he then brought the might of rome to its knees through the defiant acts as an arena gladiator.
His story then becomes that of true "Strength and Honor".
Strength and Honor
To know what that means, is seemingly beyond me...to possess true knowledge of our bodies, and in everything we know in our hearts to be the worth of integrity, and then to be able to manifest all to those with whom we associate, is how honor is acquired and maintained.
I listen to the musical show which I have now created, and I see so much. I hear so much. I feel so much. And yet it is truly interesting, that to behold what I do, to witness the effects of my hopes, they lie in a simple act of 'checking in'.
I want you to see the show...I wish you could be here, to share with you what I love... only time will tell, what will become.
God Bless
Fel
"Now we are free"
This is the name of the show, and the musical themes are those of the Gladiator soundtrack. The idea is to portray through flag and rifle movement, the story of Maximus Decimus Meridius. General, Father, Husband...slave. Taken after his family were murdered and crucified alive, to become a slave sold into the provinces of the roman empire.
The themes articulate the moments in his life that make the story of such epic caliber. Each changing musical theme will illustrate a different part of his story, taking him from military power, stripped and left with nothing as a slave, then to the arena where he then brought the might of rome to its knees through the defiant acts as an arena gladiator.
His story then becomes that of true "Strength and Honor".
Strength and Honor
To know what that means, is seemingly beyond me...to possess true knowledge of our bodies, and in everything we know in our hearts to be the worth of integrity, and then to be able to manifest all to those with whom we associate, is how honor is acquired and maintained.
I listen to the musical show which I have now created, and I see so much. I hear so much. I feel so much. And yet it is truly interesting, that to behold what I do, to witness the effects of my hopes, they lie in a simple act of 'checking in'.
I want you to see the show...I wish you could be here, to share with you what I love... only time will tell, what will become.
God Bless
Fel
Monday, November 9, 2009
Hey buddy...
....Jack! What are you doing buddy? Giving people a heart attack??? Man, it is pretty demanding of the heart beat when you go and do things like involve yourself in the need to have stitches....!!! j/k, You are still my buddy, and you always will be.
I just didn't know that I could comment on your blog buddy...I wasn't sure if that was kosher...but if it is, I could be commenting on your blog a lot more than you might like...
Just know that there is always a check in. I am sorry if it has been a while, tour, and competitions, and such...I am always eager to hear as much as is possible, and yes, I do read. I really do...
God bless, and God speed...
as we all have the need.
...me...
I just didn't know that I could comment on your blog buddy...I wasn't sure if that was kosher...but if it is, I could be commenting on your blog a lot more than you might like...
Just know that there is always a check in. I am sorry if it has been a while, tour, and competitions, and such...I am always eager to hear as much as is possible, and yes, I do read. I really do...
God bless, and God speed...
as we all have the need.
...me...
Checking in, November 9...
We got back from our tour form marching band and needless to say, we did quite well. First over all in our division, along with the outstanding musical performance caption. Had we competed up a class our points would have set us at second in 3A(class above us), and second in 4A(two classes above us) as well.
The trip was amazing. I did something with my girls that i wish I had done long ago. I experimented with a method to get them in the right frame of mentality...to have fun while on the field. I will not disclose all the details of the method, but know that it was by far the best performance that they have had all season, and the method proved extremely effective. I shall implement it more often in the seasons to come.
I am well...
All is well...
I love you~
God Bless
Fel~
The trip was amazing. I did something with my girls that i wish I had done long ago. I experimented with a method to get them in the right frame of mentality...to have fun while on the field. I will not disclose all the details of the method, but know that it was by far the best performance that they have had all season, and the method proved extremely effective. I shall implement it more often in the seasons to come.
I am well...
All is well...
I love you~
God Bless
Fel~
Monday, November 2, 2009
Checking in, November 2 2009
A good day! Much more beautiful than many of the other days have been for the last several weeks. I can't believe how nice it has been...another thing that is simply beautiful.
Other news of considerable nature...my grandfather passed away last week. It was a bit sudden, but also more expected than not. He was a great man, and more man than most men who have lived in this world.
He worked until his body quit on him. When he was not working, which was seldom, he was at the temple doing the work of the Lord. When he retired, he never really retired. Every day he would walk the several blocks to the temple where he would perform ordinances all day long, as long as he could.
A true man of God, and a true man of the family.
God and family, in that order, is how his life was structured. He knew that the only way to sustain his family in the ways of God, was to serve God as best he could, and let God sustain his family as best he knew how.
We loved him dearly.
I however, am not able to attend the services. My two sisters and I will be staying in utah, as everyone else will be heading to hawaii for the services. He will be greatly missed, but he is also greatly needed where he is going.
God Bless and God speed...
Me
Other news of considerable nature...my grandfather passed away last week. It was a bit sudden, but also more expected than not. He was a great man, and more man than most men who have lived in this world.
He worked until his body quit on him. When he was not working, which was seldom, he was at the temple doing the work of the Lord. When he retired, he never really retired. Every day he would walk the several blocks to the temple where he would perform ordinances all day long, as long as he could.
A true man of God, and a true man of the family.
God and family, in that order, is how his life was structured. He knew that the only way to sustain his family in the ways of God, was to serve God as best he could, and let God sustain his family as best he knew how.
We loved him dearly.
I however, am not able to attend the services. My two sisters and I will be staying in utah, as everyone else will be heading to hawaii for the services. He will be greatly missed, but he is also greatly needed where he is going.
God Bless and God speed...
Me
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Checking in, October 28
Last night we had our band concert, and dare I say? It was clearly a tremendous success. 4 conductors in front of the bands at Provo high, (including myself) and all four of them deserving of the positions they held.
It was great. Big house, lots of people, great audience, good atmosphere, solid learning opportunity! I didn't think I would have been directing the band last night at the concert, but Mr. Hearld(Official hired band director) asked if we would be interested in directing because we had done so much work for the bands already. He said he wouldn't feel right not putting us up there in front of the ensemble's to direct because of how much we had done to help them.
Few in this world are as great a helpers and as good a directors as Jared Hearld.
As I said, it was awesome! I just wanted to update as to my last couple days!
God bless and God speed!
Fel
It was great. Big house, lots of people, great audience, good atmosphere, solid learning opportunity! I didn't think I would have been directing the band last night at the concert, but Mr. Hearld(Official hired band director) asked if we would be interested in directing because we had done so much work for the bands already. He said he wouldn't feel right not putting us up there in front of the ensemble's to direct because of how much we had done to help them.
Few in this world are as great a helpers and as good a directors as Jared Hearld.
As I said, it was awesome! I just wanted to update as to my last couple days!
God bless and God speed!
Fel
Thursday, October 22, 2009
...how I love this...
Written below is the word of solemn declaration that each knight was required to swear before he could receive his knighthood.
"Be without fear in the face of your enemies.
Be brave and upright that God may love thee.
Speak the truth always, even if it leads to your death.
Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong.
That is your oath."
How beautiful, and how simple is the call for chivalry that had been in old times; and how I wish the day of modern inclination could adapt the truth and magnitude of such things. But "it is not necessary anymore" as one teacher once proclaimed in his state of what he thought was defeat... But what could be more necessary? The small and simple things that make humans what they are, and what COULD elevate all of us to better thinking, stronger wills, and motivate us to more acts of integrity
That is the question of the day, in the labor of our time.
God Bless...
"Be without fear in the face of your enemies.
Be brave and upright that God may love thee.
Speak the truth always, even if it leads to your death.
Safeguard the helpless and do no wrong.
That is your oath."
How beautiful, and how simple is the call for chivalry that had been in old times; and how I wish the day of modern inclination could adapt the truth and magnitude of such things. But "it is not necessary anymore" as one teacher once proclaimed in his state of what he thought was defeat... But what could be more necessary? The small and simple things that make humans what they are, and what COULD elevate all of us to better thinking, stronger wills, and motivate us to more acts of integrity
That is the question of the day, in the labor of our time.
God Bless...
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Today...
...has been a little better than the rest of this week. Some updates of the season are as follows.
1) We had another competition for marching band yesterday(October 20) and the band did well. We took first over all in our class, but we only took one caption home; 'Outstanding musical performance'. Percussion took second by 0.7 points as did colorguard by the same amount. Visual was also second by 1.0 point. It doesnt' sound like very much but 1-6 place is usually between a 3.0 spread. I reviewed the film and know what we need to work on to improve our show as a guard, and hopefully this weekend at the TIMP comp we will do better. We are looking for a clean sweep and we hope it happens.
2) I am having a new Latin Medley done for my ballroom team and so far it is doing fantastic considering we haven't been able to work that medley for three weeks. It is suffering at present, but it should quickly come together starting tonight as we re-awaken its soul from slumber. I also had the costume seemstress come in today to take measurements for those costumes and finally get started on them. It leaves my soul excited for that to be completed.
3) I am looking into some possible graveyard security work, seeing how that may be the only time I would be able to work another job, during the dark hours of the revolution. It call for 32 hours/week monday-thursday. I know it would literally kill me if i ran a life like that, working everyday, and only sleeping for a couple hours a night if that, and then being able to sleep a couple hours during the day as well...I don't know if it is smart...but it might be needed....who knows??
4) There is a day in every life, where one must reflect on things past, things present, and things future. No one really knows the reasons why they were, are, or how they will be, but one will always question. I consider photo's I possess, letters I read, phone numbers I wish to call, and the mirror that I see every morning with the short and sweet message it carries, and only by request am I silenced...Yes, the information of conjured moments of greatness still bring a smile.
5) About the monster...it seems that the heart was willing to fight, even at the risk of losing loyalty from one close to me. Words became the fists that were swung, elevated voices became the knives that were thrown, and in the end guns of vocabulary were loaded and fired; It became dirty. The mess surely awoke the sleeping giant of anger and frustration, and nearly let loose its path of devastation. Thank goodness for the wake of calm that somehow found its way through the fire and the noise...settling my breaking heart, it took command of the situation and made manifest to me, the way to leave the beast at rest and still fight the battle in a manner fit for reconciliation. All has become well with it, and still the monster sleeps; where I hope to keep him until the end of reckoning. I cannot share the specific details of those involved, but know it is well...for now.
6) I cannot believe how much this world tells us we can not do...they truly want us to give up, or to give in to the pressures of inadequacies. How is it, that the world we are to succeed in, is so concerned with being the cause of frailty? My kids in education, struggle so much with the homes they live in and the world they EXIST in because all they hear is that they are incapable of performance. Damned to the depths to all those who promote that kind of mentality. To any of those who feel under the reigning hail of negligence and negativity, whether they be dear sentiments of my heart, new or veteran students of mine, simple aquaintances, or all the likes there-of, my will of mind and soul are out in reach to you. Rise above the voice of pessimism. Believe in yourself as much as I do. See what God see's in you. Only then will you know and realize what you are truly capable of, and then result in the true character and nature of what you will become.
This man speaks in truth, and always will, even if it may lead to his death...
I love you~
To everyone who may read,
God bless and God speed.
1) We had another competition for marching band yesterday(October 20) and the band did well. We took first over all in our class, but we only took one caption home; 'Outstanding musical performance'. Percussion took second by 0.7 points as did colorguard by the same amount. Visual was also second by 1.0 point. It doesnt' sound like very much but 1-6 place is usually between a 3.0 spread. I reviewed the film and know what we need to work on to improve our show as a guard, and hopefully this weekend at the TIMP comp we will do better. We are looking for a clean sweep and we hope it happens.
2) I am having a new Latin Medley done for my ballroom team and so far it is doing fantastic considering we haven't been able to work that medley for three weeks. It is suffering at present, but it should quickly come together starting tonight as we re-awaken its soul from slumber. I also had the costume seemstress come in today to take measurements for those costumes and finally get started on them. It leaves my soul excited for that to be completed.
3) I am looking into some possible graveyard security work, seeing how that may be the only time I would be able to work another job, during the dark hours of the revolution. It call for 32 hours/week monday-thursday. I know it would literally kill me if i ran a life like that, working everyday, and only sleeping for a couple hours a night if that, and then being able to sleep a couple hours during the day as well...I don't know if it is smart...but it might be needed....who knows??
4) There is a day in every life, where one must reflect on things past, things present, and things future. No one really knows the reasons why they were, are, or how they will be, but one will always question. I consider photo's I possess, letters I read, phone numbers I wish to call, and the mirror that I see every morning with the short and sweet message it carries, and only by request am I silenced...Yes, the information of conjured moments of greatness still bring a smile.
5) About the monster...it seems that the heart was willing to fight, even at the risk of losing loyalty from one close to me. Words became the fists that were swung, elevated voices became the knives that were thrown, and in the end guns of vocabulary were loaded and fired; It became dirty. The mess surely awoke the sleeping giant of anger and frustration, and nearly let loose its path of devastation. Thank goodness for the wake of calm that somehow found its way through the fire and the noise...settling my breaking heart, it took command of the situation and made manifest to me, the way to leave the beast at rest and still fight the battle in a manner fit for reconciliation. All has become well with it, and still the monster sleeps; where I hope to keep him until the end of reckoning. I cannot share the specific details of those involved, but know it is well...for now.
6) I cannot believe how much this world tells us we can not do...they truly want us to give up, or to give in to the pressures of inadequacies. How is it, that the world we are to succeed in, is so concerned with being the cause of frailty? My kids in education, struggle so much with the homes they live in and the world they EXIST in because all they hear is that they are incapable of performance. Damned to the depths to all those who promote that kind of mentality. To any of those who feel under the reigning hail of negligence and negativity, whether they be dear sentiments of my heart, new or veteran students of mine, simple aquaintances, or all the likes there-of, my will of mind and soul are out in reach to you. Rise above the voice of pessimism. Believe in yourself as much as I do. See what God see's in you. Only then will you know and realize what you are truly capable of, and then result in the true character and nature of what you will become.
This man speaks in truth, and always will, even if it may lead to his death...
I love you~
To everyone who may read,
God bless and God speed.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Just a few things that I am thinking about...
1) ...I am in a hard place, cornered, by kindness and submissiveness on one hand, and legal right on the other. I am forced into a situation that is creating something inside that I thought was put to rest long ago.
A monster.
My hands have never been raised in offense, nor have they responded in like of offense, in order of defense. I simply just take the blows as they come, and walk away. I am the kind of individual that will turn into the fight, and take the blows so as to end the conflict. I think nothing much of it, and just move on. But now I feel as if that will simply not work anymore...
That monster is being reborn, I can feel it. If I act upon the kind, passive, and submissive heart that is my life, it will slay the monster...but it will leave me crippled, and many of those around me crippled as well, unable to fend for themselves, for they know not the place in which they stand, and before they would ever find out, it would be too late...
If I act upon the hand of the law, it will give birth to this monster, raising metaphorical hands to battle against those around me, and sending that monster to dwell in the hearts of those close to me. I do not fear that monster in others, for I believe I was born to battle such demons, and to come out triumphant by suppressing the monster in myself in order to fight it in others.
But alas...to awaken that beast in order to protect the young at hand, means to sacrifice the dungeon in which this monster is held prisoner. To tear down the walls and set him free...
Can I be at peace while crippling those that can not fend for themselves...?
Can my soul rest knowing I have set free a demon to reign in the hearts of those close to me...?
I know not, but what I do know is this...I guess everyone has a breaking point.
2) The rules are always and ever present. They have not changed, nor will time tell if they will ever be without power to govern. Though I have broken them, more often than you may ever know, please understand that I mean it...power comes in the act of the meaningful, but to what end?
3) I have now been layed-off of my other employment position at windsor park because of the economy and the fall of finances. What that means, is simply that if I am to cover the expenses required to live in this world I must now seek more labor induced employment to meet those financial needs and obligations.
4) I am tired....I am exhausted....I am the wake after the storm, the calm in the distance, and the whisper that hails the hands of reconciliation.
....I am me....
is it enough?
A monster.
My hands have never been raised in offense, nor have they responded in like of offense, in order of defense. I simply just take the blows as they come, and walk away. I am the kind of individual that will turn into the fight, and take the blows so as to end the conflict. I think nothing much of it, and just move on. But now I feel as if that will simply not work anymore...
That monster is being reborn, I can feel it. If I act upon the kind, passive, and submissive heart that is my life, it will slay the monster...but it will leave me crippled, and many of those around me crippled as well, unable to fend for themselves, for they know not the place in which they stand, and before they would ever find out, it would be too late...
If I act upon the hand of the law, it will give birth to this monster, raising metaphorical hands to battle against those around me, and sending that monster to dwell in the hearts of those close to me. I do not fear that monster in others, for I believe I was born to battle such demons, and to come out triumphant by suppressing the monster in myself in order to fight it in others.
But alas...to awaken that beast in order to protect the young at hand, means to sacrifice the dungeon in which this monster is held prisoner. To tear down the walls and set him free...
Can I be at peace while crippling those that can not fend for themselves...?
Can my soul rest knowing I have set free a demon to reign in the hearts of those close to me...?
I know not, but what I do know is this...I guess everyone has a breaking point.
2) The rules are always and ever present. They have not changed, nor will time tell if they will ever be without power to govern. Though I have broken them, more often than you may ever know, please understand that I mean it...power comes in the act of the meaningful, but to what end?
3) I have now been layed-off of my other employment position at windsor park because of the economy and the fall of finances. What that means, is simply that if I am to cover the expenses required to live in this world I must now seek more labor induced employment to meet those financial needs and obligations.
4) I am tired....I am exhausted....I am the wake after the storm, the calm in the distance, and the whisper that hails the hands of reconciliation.
....I am me....
is it enough?
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
The Ride of your life...
Enjoy the ride; There is no return ticket
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life ! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever, even ham radio. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help..
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away..
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.
'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.
You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.
'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life ! You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony. YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're Just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; 'I Was JUST 92.'
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. 'I'm 100 and a half!'
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever, even ham radio. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help..
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER :
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away..
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Hope...
...it seems, is more a sense of humorous irony than anything else...I don't mean to condone the possibility of hope, or the existence of hope, for God knows I live my life, build my expectations, and create the realm in which I teach the youth of our world, exactly what hope is...
But it is in the realm of hope that I find the strongest architecture of irony. The hope for the future is how I build the mentality of the youth I teach, its how I mold the thought process and patterns of how they see. It is the basis of how they learn to feel with their heart.
I teach them that hope is the first step to being able to see what I refer to as the intended future...no I am not saying that I can see the future, but rather I can feel the intended future for several of those around me, and in hope, for myself.
When I can place my hand on the mind of someone close to me, or my finger tips on the heart of someone dear to me, its then that I can secure a communication port between hearts and minds. Only then does it happen...I feel the impression of images and intentions of what seems to be things that have not come to pass...I don't claim they are real, I don't claim to be a seer, I don't claim to be a prophet, in fact, I usually don't share them with many people if any at all. I simply connect, see, feel, and then in most cases, wonder...
In the event that I might share it with someone of whom I have "read", many many weeks, or even months later when something I say transpires, someone always asks me how I knew? I have nothing to say except it is a lucky guess. Is it? I don't know...it happens more often than not, and to me it is really more of a curse than a blessing as most people like to think of it.
How would you like to be able to touch someone...ascend from this mere plain of Consciousness, and suddenly connect to them on a level that you didn't want to? You feel what they feel...but only for a moment...then it is that you realize the depths of despair, or the state of need, or the emotional unrest that they are prisoners of...and even worse...you know there is nothing that you can do to change what you see and feel....
How would it be?
The one person I wish I could see or feel...was myself. How does one connect with himself in order to see the things in his own future? Is that possible? Or is it only given that he may see that of those close to him, in order to help them through...?
Is this truly a blessing...? Or a darkening curse...?
Still I work with all heart and hope, to keep hope alive for those around me...and for myself. But what will it merit? Hopefully the best of that which we call happiness...
...and still I find myself hoping.....
But it is in the realm of hope that I find the strongest architecture of irony. The hope for the future is how I build the mentality of the youth I teach, its how I mold the thought process and patterns of how they see. It is the basis of how they learn to feel with their heart.
I teach them that hope is the first step to being able to see what I refer to as the intended future...no I am not saying that I can see the future, but rather I can feel the intended future for several of those around me, and in hope, for myself.
When I can place my hand on the mind of someone close to me, or my finger tips on the heart of someone dear to me, its then that I can secure a communication port between hearts and minds. Only then does it happen...I feel the impression of images and intentions of what seems to be things that have not come to pass...I don't claim they are real, I don't claim to be a seer, I don't claim to be a prophet, in fact, I usually don't share them with many people if any at all. I simply connect, see, feel, and then in most cases, wonder...
In the event that I might share it with someone of whom I have "read", many many weeks, or even months later when something I say transpires, someone always asks me how I knew? I have nothing to say except it is a lucky guess. Is it? I don't know...it happens more often than not, and to me it is really more of a curse than a blessing as most people like to think of it.
How would you like to be able to touch someone...ascend from this mere plain of Consciousness, and suddenly connect to them on a level that you didn't want to? You feel what they feel...but only for a moment...then it is that you realize the depths of despair, or the state of need, or the emotional unrest that they are prisoners of...and even worse...you know there is nothing that you can do to change what you see and feel....
How would it be?
The one person I wish I could see or feel...was myself. How does one connect with himself in order to see the things in his own future? Is that possible? Or is it only given that he may see that of those close to him, in order to help them through...?
Is this truly a blessing...? Or a darkening curse...?
Still I work with all heart and hope, to keep hope alive for those around me...and for myself. But what will it merit? Hopefully the best of that which we call happiness...
...and still I find myself hoping.....
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Checking in...
...so you may hopefully know that all is well.
Details will come later, I promise.
I am well.
"Many thanks your grace", for checking in with me...and sharing with me the elements of life that keep you.
Details will come later, I promise.
I am well.
"Many thanks your grace", for checking in with me...and sharing with me the elements of life that keep you.
The evolution of the past...
His name is Hidalgo. Name taken from a film wherein a man's horse was named Hidalgo. A great film of adventure, intrigue, loyalty, risk, and love, Hidalgo served as the man's primary loyalty. Vast memories he held with Hidalgo, harnessed and cultivated with sentiment that could not be compared with any others in his class. Though there were many that were similar, this one was indeed special because of the way he was raised. He lived with him, ate with him, raced with him, and then eventually Hidalgo saved his life. Hidalgo was chosen for this particular Entity in my life because He and I have done the very things that had been done in the film...and eventually, he even saved my life....
Her name is Trinity. Also taken from the concept of a film titled "The Matrix". Trinity's roll was designed to be one of the main assisting factors in the main character's(Neo) quest to understanding. Although she was skeptical at first, as was I, in the naming of this Entity, confirmation came to me when I had a unique experience with her. Waiting for a red light to change to green, a 2007(Year being 2006) Toyota Celica pulled up next to me with a man wearing a suit and sunglasses. He turned to me, gave me the look, and when the light flashed to green we were off. Suddenly the message came to me..."an agent" was on my tail, and she was in flight to make sure she stayed ahead. Pure heart, and clean black curves, Trinity had become true to her name, outrunning the agent, and out living her expected life. As had become tradition with all entities, she too saved my life....
Many of you have met this Entity already. Graced with the name that no doubt is suitable for not only her appearance, this entity bears a name that holds true value in more ways than just one. Bella was given to honor the memory of a dear one close to me. Her name in actual script, B.E.L.L.A., serves as an acronym each letter representing a quality I found in such a dear friend.
Beautiful
Elegant
Lovely
Lavish
Altruistic
B.E.L.L.A. then became the standard for which I would search....search for someone who could fill the void that had become the emptiness in my heart. Even as trinity had become the attending lady in my life, teaching me much, B.E.L.L.A. had become the living lady in my heart offering me the memory, and the standard that will remain with me till that emptiness be filled.
From the rolling mountain territory that governed the march of Hidalgo, to the standard of hope that had become of B.E.L.L.A., I offer you now the name of the Entity that now carries the endeavors of my heart in the world. This Entity was chosen based on a character concept in a video game. Becoming the protagonist in the story of a young character, Tidus is thrown into a world that was not his own, nor of his own interests. However seeing the need to be there, and the necessity of his existence there, he realized as he bonded with his new friends, that they will have much more in life than just to simply exist. Tidus has become the protagonist in my life, aiding in every way possible, becoming a savior in one of my direst times of secular and physical demand.
I present: Tidus
Every Entity, and I choose the word "Entity" because I believe that each one is such; an entity of life. I do not believe in inanimate life, because how can something be inanimate, if it is life? How can it be an inanimate object, when objects are made of the same things we are....life. They see and they feel. They hear and they listen. They speak and they understand. They live, and they love.
....such is the evolution of the past.....
Friday, September 11, 2009
Checking in...
This world is truly an awesome world, where life is not complete unless you have some life of luxury, at least to some degree. At least that is what the world would have us think, that is what our society would have us believe...
I use the word awesome, not because I think it is something incredibly good...but rather, to the true nature of the word, it is a subject that honestly leaves me in awe...
I don't know how else to put this, I don't know where you are, I don't know how you are doing...all I know is that I get a small piece of happiness when I see the random, but cherished notes sent from you.
They can not be expected, so I don't expect them.
They can not be responded to, so I don't respond to them.
And they can not be ignored...so I don't ignore them...
How could I ignore them? How could I ignore you...when far inside there is still a deep appreciation for you, and for your life, and for everything you have become.
I don't know how you really are doing, I can only assume, based on the short notes I get, that you are truly doing well. And for that I am happy! I am deeply happy for you. I could not ask for you to be blessed in a better way than you are now. I hear it is the happiest moments in life, to bring new life...I pray for the health and life of the little one soon to enter this world. And is that not an element that would create a life of luxury? I think so, I believe so, I know so...
I find myself writing again,
for no other reason than to tell you,
just how happy I think I really have been,
being involved with everything I do.
And odd it seems, to think day after day
that the only comfort I find is when I pray.
Hoping for an answer to a question I have had;
after hearing your news, "whats it like to be a...dad?"
I would always love to hear from you;
hows your boy? And yes, the little one too?
Me? I'm really well, I assure you I am;
This is me checking in, the only way that I can...
I use the word awesome, not because I think it is something incredibly good...but rather, to the true nature of the word, it is a subject that honestly leaves me in awe...
I don't know how else to put this, I don't know where you are, I don't know how you are doing...all I know is that I get a small piece of happiness when I see the random, but cherished notes sent from you.
They can not be expected, so I don't expect them.
They can not be responded to, so I don't respond to them.
And they can not be ignored...so I don't ignore them...
How could I ignore them? How could I ignore you...when far inside there is still a deep appreciation for you, and for your life, and for everything you have become.
I don't know how you really are doing, I can only assume, based on the short notes I get, that you are truly doing well. And for that I am happy! I am deeply happy for you. I could not ask for you to be blessed in a better way than you are now. I hear it is the happiest moments in life, to bring new life...I pray for the health and life of the little one soon to enter this world. And is that not an element that would create a life of luxury? I think so, I believe so, I know so...
I find myself writing again,
for no other reason than to tell you,
just how happy I think I really have been,
being involved with everything I do.
And odd it seems, to think day after day
that the only comfort I find is when I pray.
Hoping for an answer to a question I have had;
after hearing your news, "whats it like to be a...dad?"
I would always love to hear from you;
hows your boy? And yes, the little one too?
Me? I'm really well, I assure you I am;
This is me checking in, the only way that I can...
Thursday, August 27, 2009
A realization....a Dawning....
I am very old fashioned.....living in an incredibly modern and complicated world of confusion governed by the heavy, and often abused gavel of human emotions....no wonder no one in this world knows how to communicate....
The worth of ones weight in gold, is designated of its value, sent through a text message and the world is ok with that. The realm of love, has become just a game, played without second thought or consideration of its devastating effects.
I watch as the emptiness of those close to me, drives them to action that I know, and they know, will leave them in regret. How do I take a world, longing for flight, and show them the elevation of such accomplishment, without having to take a dive into the depths of darkened despair.
It is with great desire, that I seek the best in those around me, and the best for those around me...even at the sacrifice of things once thought valuable. For what is value in oneself, if not to give to those who think nothing of you?
...may sun warmed winds fill your wings of imagination, and send you soaring where your dreams may find grand architecture of reality. I hope in that reality you truly find what you are looking for...
I love you...
Dreacis Supereous
The worth of ones weight in gold, is designated of its value, sent through a text message and the world is ok with that. The realm of love, has become just a game, played without second thought or consideration of its devastating effects.
I watch as the emptiness of those close to me, drives them to action that I know, and they know, will leave them in regret. How do I take a world, longing for flight, and show them the elevation of such accomplishment, without having to take a dive into the depths of darkened despair.
It is with great desire, that I seek the best in those around me, and the best for those around me...even at the sacrifice of things once thought valuable. For what is value in oneself, if not to give to those who think nothing of you?
...may sun warmed winds fill your wings of imagination, and send you soaring where your dreams may find grand architecture of reality. I hope in that reality you truly find what you are looking for...
I love you...
Dreacis Supereous
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
A Beautiful Day!
....today was indeed a beautiful day! Why one may ask, simply because of the happenings in said day. Not that anything terribly obvious took place, but as it is written, "by small and simple things, are great things brought to pass."
Today I went to help a dear friend simply by opening a door for her that was locked. To most people it might have just seemed like a simple or common gesture, and that it was. However, by doing such act moved into action things through out the day that would make my day better as each second passed.
Opening the door, bringing a friend and myself together in conversation, allowed me to be open to her, and to the things she is aware of. We spoke, and yet said nothing, but enough was felt. She knows me better than she thinks she does, but she berates herself as if to say she is not good enough. She needs to know that she is.
She has a gift, but does not know how to use it yet. In time she will learn it. That makes me smile... :)
Whether or not she will ever know, her concern for my wellness, and the current state of my heart, means much to me.
Thank you
As salaam alaikum,
vaya con dios,
The Sea Turtle...
Today I went to help a dear friend simply by opening a door for her that was locked. To most people it might have just seemed like a simple or common gesture, and that it was. However, by doing such act moved into action things through out the day that would make my day better as each second passed.
Opening the door, bringing a friend and myself together in conversation, allowed me to be open to her, and to the things she is aware of. We spoke, and yet said nothing, but enough was felt. She knows me better than she thinks she does, but she berates herself as if to say she is not good enough. She needs to know that she is.
She has a gift, but does not know how to use it yet. In time she will learn it. That makes me smile... :)
Whether or not she will ever know, her concern for my wellness, and the current state of my heart, means much to me.
Thank you
As salaam alaikum,
vaya con dios,
The Sea Turtle...
Sunday, August 23, 2009
A little on the lost side....
because I just don't know what my head and my heart are telling me. I sit here, and though I face simple questions in my life, that seemingly should have simple answers as well...I find myself at a loss for words both silently and audibly.
What is the path that takes us to the place we want to be? I was out riding last night, and near the 23rd hour was brought to a sense of realization when I opened my eyes and beheld the Provo temple in the veil of my vision. Stranded upon my knees, paralyzed from movement, all I could do was watch the spectacle of heavenly manifestation pour out answers in silence. All questions that seemed to need the command of logic, found confidence in the serenity that was the temple grounds. All confusion that demanded clarity found peace of mind within the prayers that were offered...
...and yet today, Sunday, day of rest and refuge, I found neither in the activity of light that was the sun. Little consolation did I find in the open arms of nature through the passing wind during my motorcycle ride. Although I did find good company in the friends that were with me, my heart and mind seemed to conjure enmity for each other, and I could not explain why.
My heart tells me one thing, and obedience to that which my heart dictates is never in question...and today, I could not obey. Mental capacities that would offer a course of action based upon logical reason simply malfunctioned, and blurred the visual course it should have provided...
I am lost...I know that now.... I thought I was found, and realize now that the depths of distance had become the illusion of security in which I had built such a false hope.
...His name should be the path...I Hope it is. Her name should be the hope...I pray it is. My voice should be the prayer...I beg to be heard. To hear his name...should be the path...
...Is this the storm???
What is the path that takes us to the place we want to be? I was out riding last night, and near the 23rd hour was brought to a sense of realization when I opened my eyes and beheld the Provo temple in the veil of my vision. Stranded upon my knees, paralyzed from movement, all I could do was watch the spectacle of heavenly manifestation pour out answers in silence. All questions that seemed to need the command of logic, found confidence in the serenity that was the temple grounds. All confusion that demanded clarity found peace of mind within the prayers that were offered...
...and yet today, Sunday, day of rest and refuge, I found neither in the activity of light that was the sun. Little consolation did I find in the open arms of nature through the passing wind during my motorcycle ride. Although I did find good company in the friends that were with me, my heart and mind seemed to conjure enmity for each other, and I could not explain why.
My heart tells me one thing, and obedience to that which my heart dictates is never in question...and today, I could not obey. Mental capacities that would offer a course of action based upon logical reason simply malfunctioned, and blurred the visual course it should have provided...
I am lost...I know that now.... I thought I was found, and realize now that the depths of distance had become the illusion of security in which I had built such a false hope.
...His name should be the path...I Hope it is. Her name should be the hope...I pray it is. My voice should be the prayer...I beg to be heard. To hear his name...should be the path...
...Is this the storm???
Friday, August 21, 2009
Mindi....for you...
I know you probably don't want to hear this either, but I'm not sure how much you get on here, or read these things, even after you leave comments... Mindi, my dear Mindi... You have been, and are one of my closest and most cherished friends. Track record or not, I have loved you dearly for longer than many will ever know. One cannot just give that away, or forget what things have been done because of someone in our lives. You are my friend, you will always be my friend. I gladly read your advice with full heart, and know that you mean only the best for me. That is what friends do. As dear as you are to me, you will always be such. Thank you for everything you have done for me, and everything you have been to me.
God bless and God speed...
Love ya~
Jacob
P.S. I could never dismiss rules one and two...even if I take the plunge...
God bless and God speed...
Love ya~
Jacob
P.S. I could never dismiss rules one and two...even if I take the plunge...
I thought it time....
to get on and post again. I'm sorry to all those who might have been following, and haven't got anything since transformers 2. It has been a while, and I have nothing to say for it, or even to blame it on, but, just not getting on, and not posting anything.
But not to worry. I am here, and all of you can tell me everything about nothing! Just how I like it!
I am here to ask some advice....I am trying my absolute best to move my life in some kind of direction, opposite where it was, and where it used to be. Not that I don't like the direction it was traveling, but perhaps I just might need some motivation in the likes of a new direction, whether or not I like that new direction.
The name of said direction: Drum roll please..........."Dating!!!" DUN DUN DUN!!!!(said with a descending melody tone, and ominous music playing in the background)
My heart desires that which it has not been able to find in a long time. The close companionship of someone dear and special. I miss making memories of deep and sentimental value with someone that I care dearly about. I have been working to make pass all those cherished memories of near distant past, in order to make room inside the realm of emotion for something new.
It is proving more difficult than I ever thought...
But perhaps in the interest of eternal perspective...I thought maybe I was wrong, and maybe it is time that I do my absolute best to take a new direction. Like I said before, that direction being "dating", I really don't know how to approach this new direction, and more importantly, I fear it more than anything.
How do I overcome this fear? How to I take this new direction with open heart and heavy conviction that it very well could be the right road?
So it is, I ask that anyone who follows or who reads, might shed some light on the subject.
I love you all.
God bless and God speed...
The Brown Guy
But not to worry. I am here, and all of you can tell me everything about nothing! Just how I like it!
I am here to ask some advice....I am trying my absolute best to move my life in some kind of direction, opposite where it was, and where it used to be. Not that I don't like the direction it was traveling, but perhaps I just might need some motivation in the likes of a new direction, whether or not I like that new direction.
The name of said direction: Drum roll please..........."Dating!!!" DUN DUN DUN!!!!(said with a descending melody tone, and ominous music playing in the background)
My heart desires that which it has not been able to find in a long time. The close companionship of someone dear and special. I miss making memories of deep and sentimental value with someone that I care dearly about. I have been working to make pass all those cherished memories of near distant past, in order to make room inside the realm of emotion for something new.
It is proving more difficult than I ever thought...
But perhaps in the interest of eternal perspective...I thought maybe I was wrong, and maybe it is time that I do my absolute best to take a new direction. Like I said before, that direction being "dating", I really don't know how to approach this new direction, and more importantly, I fear it more than anything.
How do I overcome this fear? How to I take this new direction with open heart and heavy conviction that it very well could be the right road?
So it is, I ask that anyone who follows or who reads, might shed some light on the subject.
I love you all.
God bless and God speed...
The Brown Guy
Monday, July 6, 2009
TRANSFORMERS
I have been a bit behind...but here it is as usual.
Transformers 2: Revenge of the fallen
Starters, I saw it three times in the first 3 days of open. It was fantastic! Loved it!
Secondly, I loved how everything about it really went back to the roots. Good times. Yes I was a Transformers junkie when I was a child, and apparently I still am, and I AM OK WITH THAT! :)
Thirdly, I thought it was about time the Optimus owned up to his name! In the first one he got owned by megatron....not cool.... But in the second one, he stepped up to the plate, and literally swung like life depended on it, and it did! He took on 5 deceptacons, megatron included and owned them all....until he got sucker punched from behind by, the one the only, megatron.....wow. But man did he own everyone. He is a PRIME!!! YES!
Great movie over all, but there were a few things about the movie that I thought were a little much.
TOO MANY TRANSFORMERS!!!
The ones that needed to be there it was great for them! Then there was about a million transformers, and although I could identify and really connect with them(again, I was a junkie), it was a little fast, and a little much for the new incoming people who don't know much about all of them.
They could have done without the RC triplets, because the really didn't have much doing in the show...and even though the twins were amazingly funny the whole show, the could have done without them too. But they did for a time start to OWN devastator(the big deceptacon that was made from all the construction bots) till they just disappeared off the face...who knew....Personal favorite...."Sideswipe", the new Corvette, although I think they could have done MORE with him, and they didn't....he was still the coolest! :-D
I understand that they were in a war and that is all good, but maybe I am just being really picky about the movie.
Picky or not, I loved it. Like I said, I saw it three times in three days. And I am sure I will go and see it again(when I get some more money) :)
See it, see it again, see it even more!
God bless...
Transformers 2: Revenge of the fallen
Starters, I saw it three times in the first 3 days of open. It was fantastic! Loved it!
Secondly, I loved how everything about it really went back to the roots. Good times. Yes I was a Transformers junkie when I was a child, and apparently I still am, and I AM OK WITH THAT! :)
Thirdly, I thought it was about time the Optimus owned up to his name! In the first one he got owned by megatron....not cool.... But in the second one, he stepped up to the plate, and literally swung like life depended on it, and it did! He took on 5 deceptacons, megatron included and owned them all....until he got sucker punched from behind by, the one the only, megatron.....wow. But man did he own everyone. He is a PRIME!!! YES!
Great movie over all, but there were a few things about the movie that I thought were a little much.
TOO MANY TRANSFORMERS!!!
The ones that needed to be there it was great for them! Then there was about a million transformers, and although I could identify and really connect with them(again, I was a junkie), it was a little fast, and a little much for the new incoming people who don't know much about all of them.
They could have done without the RC triplets, because the really didn't have much doing in the show...and even though the twins were amazingly funny the whole show, the could have done without them too. But they did for a time start to OWN devastator(the big deceptacon that was made from all the construction bots) till they just disappeared off the face...who knew....Personal favorite...."Sideswipe", the new Corvette, although I think they could have done MORE with him, and they didn't....he was still the coolest! :-D
I understand that they were in a war and that is all good, but maybe I am just being really picky about the movie.
Picky or not, I loved it. Like I said, I saw it three times in three days. And I am sure I will go and see it again(when I get some more money) :)
See it, see it again, see it even more!
God bless...
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Drill...
"Power drill" - The power drill used in heavy duty work jobs, construction, remodeling, etc.
"Drill it" - The action of reviewing material over and over until in becomes memory.
"The drill" - Often used as a question, e.g. "whats the drill?" to inquire as to what has been made the plan, course of action, or organization of future events.
"Drill" - The actual activity of repetitive motion in order to improve performance.
What does all this mean...???
I haven't a gosh dang clue....
What the heck is it with the freaking language we speak? say the words tomb, bomb, and comb...why does everything sound different? Same type spelling, but all sounding different...
....whatever......
"Drill it" - The action of reviewing material over and over until in becomes memory.
"The drill" - Often used as a question, e.g. "whats the drill?" to inquire as to what has been made the plan, course of action, or organization of future events.
"Drill" - The actual activity of repetitive motion in order to improve performance.
What does all this mean...???
I haven't a gosh dang clue....
What the heck is it with the freaking language we speak? say the words tomb, bomb, and comb...why does everything sound different? Same type spelling, but all sounding different...
....whatever......
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Rules...
"The only rules that really matter are these: What a man can do, and what a man can't do"
-Capt. Jack Sparrow-
I know this may very well get me into trouble, but it seems to me that things are the way they are.
Success happens because of structure; structure exists because of desire; desire is maintained and governed because of rules....are rules truly meant to be broken?
I don't know...but I do know this...
Silence has prompted action. Action into the things that I thought I wanted. More jobs, more class, more commitment, more dating, more money, and ultimately even less time. In the silence I have wrought rules for myself, to govern the things that I desire. Life, smiles, experience, travel, friends, fun, love....
The rules are as follows:
1 - Live like it was your last breath
2 - Never offer what you would never want in return
3 - Invest more than what you would ever think the return will ever be
4 - If you want to be there.....go.
5 - If you want a true friend, become so.
6 - Fun is the perception and view of a current situation, and how you make it out to be.
7 - Love is a state of heart, needing thorough refreshment of all things previous...
Of all rules set to govern the thoughts I maintain, and the actions I pursue, the only ones I have in mind all the time...
.....are rules one and two......
This probably means nothing to anyone, and that's okay. My mind usually ends up meaning nothing to everyone anyway and that's okay too because I am who I am, and no one needs like it except those who choose to. But I thought I would write, because after all that has become of my time, these are the results of my heart....because of that time.
Smiles be with you all...
...God Bless
-Capt. Jack Sparrow-
I know this may very well get me into trouble, but it seems to me that things are the way they are.
Success happens because of structure; structure exists because of desire; desire is maintained and governed because of rules....are rules truly meant to be broken?
I don't know...but I do know this...
Silence has prompted action. Action into the things that I thought I wanted. More jobs, more class, more commitment, more dating, more money, and ultimately even less time. In the silence I have wrought rules for myself, to govern the things that I desire. Life, smiles, experience, travel, friends, fun, love....
The rules are as follows:
1 - Live like it was your last breath
2 - Never offer what you would never want in return
3 - Invest more than what you would ever think the return will ever be
4 - If you want to be there.....go.
5 - If you want a true friend, become so.
6 - Fun is the perception and view of a current situation, and how you make it out to be.
7 - Love is a state of heart, needing thorough refreshment of all things previous...
Of all rules set to govern the thoughts I maintain, and the actions I pursue, the only ones I have in mind all the time...
.....are rules one and two......
This probably means nothing to anyone, and that's okay. My mind usually ends up meaning nothing to everyone anyway and that's okay too because I am who I am, and no one needs like it except those who choose to. But I thought I would write, because after all that has become of my time, these are the results of my heart....because of that time.
Smiles be with you all...
...God Bless
Saturday, June 6, 2009
We have a winner!!!
Two nights ago I went and watched the new Disney/Pixar movie "Up", and I must say....it was an absolute heart warmer!
It becomes the ideal story about dedication, challenges, trials, change, people, attitude, success, life, and most of all....love.
Bent over the element of life that challenges us all, physically, mentally, and emotionally, "UP" builds an attitude that tells us we can do, what we want to do. Though trials may come our directions, forcing us to meet knew people, it becomes more about the nature of our being to see how far those challenges will take us, and how high we are willing to rise in order to test our sense of dedication.
Life it seems, then becomes not only about the measure of success we have, or the accomplishments that we see, but about living life itself. Love should be the most driving force in our world, and the things we see transpire, should be a result of it, and therefore the continuing element that illustrates the change in our world.
This story illustrates what is called "The Circle of the Soul":
-The body is controlled by the mind;
-The mind is guided by the heart;
-The heart learns from the soul;
-The soul lives in the body.
"Up" is truly an incredible movie, and a tear jerker for sure. If even any of you have a question about life and all the amenities that come with it, see this movie, and then re-think the path you walk. :)
God Bless...
Monday, May 25, 2009
A look from past, to present, into future.....Salvation...
I apologize that this review took so long to put up here, but it became a really busy day, a busy week, and an even busier weekend! But as to my word, here it is.
Terminator opened last thursday, and it was FABULOUS! Film opened with a sequence with a man donating his body to a genetic research division of skynet laboratories. And then it jumped into the film...
I thought it was fantastic how everywhere in the movie, they paid homage to the previous three films. Gas station identical's from terminator 1, hot metallic fluid and frozen terminators from number 2, arnold got to have his cameo in this movie, plus several SEVERAL more. It was great! Even better, is that it is the first terminator movie that wasn't rated 'R'.
Great developement of characters and stellar written story line. If you haven't seen the other three movies, I might recommend that you try to see them, or at least get online somewhere and read the synopsi of all three. I only say that because, my friend Bob Dole, who went to see the film with us, was quite a bit confused because he hadn't seen any of the other films.
Other than that, intense film all the way through! It illustrated(in my opinion), the power of choice, and how we truly can change and alter the course of life by actions and results of our choices. Powerful movie, not just because it was good, or that the actors were good, but because the messages of the movie, if thought over carefully, really possess the mind capturing energy to help us see something of deeper meaning and more importance than just spending money to entertain us.
My recommendation? See the movie....but know what happened in the previous film's first ;)
God Bless!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Salvation!
Today is the day that the next midnight movie shall take place! Terminator salvation will be released tonight at 12:01, and as usual, the crazy person that I am will be found in line, waiting for hours for the movie to begin.
I think this should be a pretty good movie. After all, it is the most stellar of actors by the name of Christian Bale. When it is complete, I shall, as always, give my report on the movie.
Peace!!!
I think this should be a pretty good movie. After all, it is the most stellar of actors by the name of Christian Bale. When it is complete, I shall, as always, give my report on the movie.
Peace!!!
"...Double take your speed in the opposite direction..."
...Dreams...
Well, I said if I had dreams I would share them. Some how I knew I would. That is the interesting thing about it because I don't often remember dreams when I have them. It is said that when you sleep, your mind has to dream because it has to be working in order to function. If your mind ceases to work....you die.
I have learned little about psychology and the inner working of the human mind, but what I do know is that it is a powerful device. Dreams are also said to be a certain reality built upon our deepest desires, or our deepest fears. Taken from the far reaches of our mind(being the only place our mind has to take from), our mind will build these realities while we sleep based on the information it has.
In many cases, dreams have also been known to see, and warn us of future events. Little do we know at the time of reckoning, that we were literally watching future events that have not occurred yet. We don't realize what it is till the event actually transpires. "Deja Vu" anyone?
I don't claim to know what any of this means, but my word was to share, and so I share.
The dream...
There I was in my bedroom, one of the places of near complete solitude from the rigorous world we all live in. In walked a dear friend of mine. Saying a thousand things in a moment of silence, I felt like I was in shock. First of all seeing her here, and second, that she said nothing....but only looked at me.
After a long moment, she began walking through my bedroom. Slowly she started taking up little items of sentimental worth, and put them away. Hats, gloves, glasses, etc., she would put them in her bag. Turning pictures face down, she continued through the bedroom.
I didn't know why I was watching this happen, either in my dream or in the "real" world that was my dream.
I witnessed the whole thing and remained paralyzed as she did. Occasionally she would look at me and send her eyes so deep into my soul that I would have to look away to keep from weeping.
I found myself sitting out in the covered car port at my house. I never saw her physically walk out the door, but I knew she was in her car that was parked in front. The engine started, and when she drove away, I noticed she was not alone in the car. "Who?" I wondered, but it was too late. She was gone...
I returned to my bedroom to see what had happened. I found letters missing, pictures gone, and sentiment robbed of my solitude. On a shelf above my computer desk I saw a picture of my family standing with a bouquet of flowers in front of it. Next to that I found another picture of the team I coach. "Interesting", that she would place those two photo's next to each other, and above my desk.
I continued to look around the room to see what things had been moved, taken, or changed. Many things were...but on the bed, I found a piece of ribbon. On it was written a short message.
"...Double take your speed in the opposite direction..."
Well, I said if I had dreams I would share them. Some how I knew I would. That is the interesting thing about it because I don't often remember dreams when I have them. It is said that when you sleep, your mind has to dream because it has to be working in order to function. If your mind ceases to work....you die.
I have learned little about psychology and the inner working of the human mind, but what I do know is that it is a powerful device. Dreams are also said to be a certain reality built upon our deepest desires, or our deepest fears. Taken from the far reaches of our mind(being the only place our mind has to take from), our mind will build these realities while we sleep based on the information it has.
In many cases, dreams have also been known to see, and warn us of future events. Little do we know at the time of reckoning, that we were literally watching future events that have not occurred yet. We don't realize what it is till the event actually transpires. "Deja Vu" anyone?
I don't claim to know what any of this means, but my word was to share, and so I share.
The dream...
There I was in my bedroom, one of the places of near complete solitude from the rigorous world we all live in. In walked a dear friend of mine. Saying a thousand things in a moment of silence, I felt like I was in shock. First of all seeing her here, and second, that she said nothing....but only looked at me.
After a long moment, she began walking through my bedroom. Slowly she started taking up little items of sentimental worth, and put them away. Hats, gloves, glasses, etc., she would put them in her bag. Turning pictures face down, she continued through the bedroom.
I didn't know why I was watching this happen, either in my dream or in the "real" world that was my dream.
I witnessed the whole thing and remained paralyzed as she did. Occasionally she would look at me and send her eyes so deep into my soul that I would have to look away to keep from weeping.
I found myself sitting out in the covered car port at my house. I never saw her physically walk out the door, but I knew she was in her car that was parked in front. The engine started, and when she drove away, I noticed she was not alone in the car. "Who?" I wondered, but it was too late. She was gone...
I returned to my bedroom to see what had happened. I found letters missing, pictures gone, and sentiment robbed of my solitude. On a shelf above my computer desk I saw a picture of my family standing with a bouquet of flowers in front of it. Next to that I found another picture of the team I coach. "Interesting", that she would place those two photo's next to each other, and above my desk.
I continued to look around the room to see what things had been moved, taken, or changed. Many things were...but on the bed, I found a piece of ribbon. On it was written a short message.
"...Double take your speed in the opposite direction..."
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Sleep...
....whats that?!
Here I am at 1:15, and I know I have a early engagement at 7:00 to cut music, and I really want to go to sleep but I just can't. What else to do when you can't sleep..???
BLOG!!!!!!!
What do you do when you can't sleep because there is too much to think about, and yet there really is nothing to think about that can be done with what you are thinking about...??? ...ouch.... Did that really hurt that much to think about, or is it really just getting late?
Some other thoughts while they are on my mind:
IF you are doing what by heart, feels right, and yet by the law it is 'considered' wrong, is it wrong? Or is it right?
How do you approach someone who has been in violation of so many things, and yet they feel like they are completely free of any wrong?
What is it about you that makes you who you are? What is it about you that will make me remember you more so than any others?
Is it ok to tell an 'appropriate lie'?
B.E.L.L.A. thinks its fun to be out at night under the stars....I do too!!! :)
I am colorblind...
Ok, I think my heart and mind are completely consumed by anxiety, and therefore have nothing of worth to say anymore...
Did I tell you that I can't remember that last time I watched a full TV episode of...well, just about anything tha wasn't news? I think I am crazy....I was visiting with some dear friends of mine, Matthew Stacey, Chris Buttars, Tyler Whittaker(long time good friends), and Tyler's girlfriend Jessica. Matthew kept quoting 'Simpsons', Tyler kept quoting 'Futurama', and Chris kept quoting 'Family Guy'...all I could do was sit and watch them, and laugh when something occured as funny to me. I quote movies....but none of them knew what the heck I was talking about.
We played 'Rock Band' for a bit, and when I would ask what movie some of the songs were from they would look at me like I was retarded or something....but what are friends for if not to make you feel retarded about things eh? To love you more as soon as they are done making you feel that way! :)
All I know is that the thoughts in my head at present are constituted of many things, from many different places, and most of all from many different friends. I always wondered what it would be like to finally take a trip to Alberta...I even entertained the idea of doing it this weekend over memorial. But what would I find there? Who knows...???
I wanna take a trip back to Jamaica, see old friends, visit old stomping grounds, and perhaps share the sunsets and beaches with someone close to me. When will it all happen? Heaven knows when, if ever at all.
There is so much do to, and so little time to do it in. So many people in the world and so few the minutes to meet them all. So many places to see....but none of it means anything without someone to frame the memories with.
You know, I think I need to get this out....For months I have felt a certain heart ache, and slowly I have felt it become firm in its belief. Some people say I am getting old, and that I need to get married. Trust me when I say that its not for lack of trying. Even recently, in the last couple months, back in november, back last summer....I tried with my soul to become emotionally involved with someone. It would start, and it would feel 'ok', but before I could even any further along with any one, the overwhelming sense of betrayal always over took me. That sense came only to myself, because of myself.
What I mean to say, is that my heart has given itself to a sense of loyalty. And in doing that, has become wary of betrayal. I can feel it when it is present. I enjoy the company of dear friends, even friends that are ladies. But because of my heart, I can not invest more than certain friendships with those around me.
It is now 1:45, I need sleep to come...perhaps when I dream, I shall share it! :)
God Bless...
Here I am at 1:15, and I know I have a early engagement at 7:00 to cut music, and I really want to go to sleep but I just can't. What else to do when you can't sleep..???
BLOG!!!!!!!
What do you do when you can't sleep because there is too much to think about, and yet there really is nothing to think about that can be done with what you are thinking about...??? ...ouch.... Did that really hurt that much to think about, or is it really just getting late?
Some other thoughts while they are on my mind:
IF you are doing what by heart, feels right, and yet by the law it is 'considered' wrong, is it wrong? Or is it right?
How do you approach someone who has been in violation of so many things, and yet they feel like they are completely free of any wrong?
What is it about you that makes you who you are? What is it about you that will make me remember you more so than any others?
Is it ok to tell an 'appropriate lie'?
B.E.L.L.A. thinks its fun to be out at night under the stars....I do too!!! :)
I am colorblind...
Ok, I think my heart and mind are completely consumed by anxiety, and therefore have nothing of worth to say anymore...
Did I tell you that I can't remember that last time I watched a full TV episode of...well, just about anything tha wasn't news? I think I am crazy....I was visiting with some dear friends of mine, Matthew Stacey, Chris Buttars, Tyler Whittaker(long time good friends), and Tyler's girlfriend Jessica. Matthew kept quoting 'Simpsons', Tyler kept quoting 'Futurama', and Chris kept quoting 'Family Guy'...all I could do was sit and watch them, and laugh when something occured as funny to me. I quote movies....but none of them knew what the heck I was talking about.
We played 'Rock Band' for a bit, and when I would ask what movie some of the songs were from they would look at me like I was retarded or something....but what are friends for if not to make you feel retarded about things eh? To love you more as soon as they are done making you feel that way! :)
All I know is that the thoughts in my head at present are constituted of many things, from many different places, and most of all from many different friends. I always wondered what it would be like to finally take a trip to Alberta...I even entertained the idea of doing it this weekend over memorial. But what would I find there? Who knows...???
I wanna take a trip back to Jamaica, see old friends, visit old stomping grounds, and perhaps share the sunsets and beaches with someone close to me. When will it all happen? Heaven knows when, if ever at all.
There is so much do to, and so little time to do it in. So many people in the world and so few the minutes to meet them all. So many places to see....but none of it means anything without someone to frame the memories with.
You know, I think I need to get this out....For months I have felt a certain heart ache, and slowly I have felt it become firm in its belief. Some people say I am getting old, and that I need to get married. Trust me when I say that its not for lack of trying. Even recently, in the last couple months, back in november, back last summer....I tried with my soul to become emotionally involved with someone. It would start, and it would feel 'ok', but before I could even any further along with any one, the overwhelming sense of betrayal always over took me. That sense came only to myself, because of myself.
What I mean to say, is that my heart has given itself to a sense of loyalty. And in doing that, has become wary of betrayal. I can feel it when it is present. I enjoy the company of dear friends, even friends that are ladies. But because of my heart, I can not invest more than certain friendships with those around me.
It is now 1:45, I need sleep to come...perhaps when I dream, I shall share it! :)
God Bless...
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Suddenly Sunday!
And there it was, all of a sudden...it snuck up on me....Sunday! What a great day! I spent the day at my parents ward, because I was helping my mother give her Sunday school presentation on Temples.
How beautiful a blessing it is that we have temples in our midst, that we have the power of the Priesthood to grace our lives with the light of love of our Heavenly Father. How true the gospel is, here in the fullness of the dispensation of times. And how happy it is I find myself, living within the perimeter of its protection!
I watched today, as my Mother bore her witness of the divine truth of everlasting ordinances, and how the saving ordinances bears the burdens of the world so she does not have to. My father as well, watched as his love of eternity bore her soul in the name of Christ our Savior. How tremendous a testimony it is that they have born children, and bore them hand in hand teaching the precepts of eternal salvation.
How blessed am I to be able to have such amazing parents. Its been too long since I sat in church meetings with them, and listened to them testify of the things they know to be truth. I hope and pray that I will be at least half the man as my father, at least half the example as my mother, and at least half the testimony of truth as are my parents.
I love them both, dearly....
How beautiful a blessing it is that we have temples in our midst, that we have the power of the Priesthood to grace our lives with the light of love of our Heavenly Father. How true the gospel is, here in the fullness of the dispensation of times. And how happy it is I find myself, living within the perimeter of its protection!
I watched today, as my Mother bore her witness of the divine truth of everlasting ordinances, and how the saving ordinances bears the burdens of the world so she does not have to. My father as well, watched as his love of eternity bore her soul in the name of Christ our Savior. How tremendous a testimony it is that they have born children, and bore them hand in hand teaching the precepts of eternal salvation.
How blessed am I to be able to have such amazing parents. Its been too long since I sat in church meetings with them, and listened to them testify of the things they know to be truth. I hope and pray that I will be at least half the man as my father, at least half the example as my mother, and at least half the testimony of truth as are my parents.
I love them both, dearly....
Saturday, May 16, 2009
Its time you meet her...
Ok, so it has been a long week, not really long by way of the time aspect since each day has 24 hours, each hour has 60 minutes, and each minute has 60 seconds. But what made the week long is simply that every second of every minute, seemed to cry out one thing...how much I wanted to be with her.
There is very little that can explain the burning desire to be with someone who makes you feel like you belong in the heavens. Now I know that this may sound different to many people, but alas, it is what it is. She has been in my thoughts all week, and in my sunrise I just want to smile and tell her how much she reminds me of everything....
Many things tell me that her name is so important. It is the incantation of magical release! To speak it well, and proper, is to levitate the very calling of her name, and thus envelope yourself into the depth of her magnificence. I believe firstly that names are keys to the doorway of intimate intellect, and without possession of such keys we doom ourselves to mental famine.
She brings so much to my heart and mind, because there is so much in the meaning of her name. Everything about her name, spells the history of her life. Granted she may only have a short physical relationship with me, literally one week. But it is the emotional relationship that becomes everything....
I want you to meet B.E.L.L.A.
B - eautiful
E - legant
L - ovely
L - avish
A - ltruistic
No, I do not mean to say that what may appear to all of you as a simple motorcycle, possesses all of these things listed above. But rather, to suggest to you that the motorcycle's name, represents the very best in one whom possesses all of those qualities, and that the motorcycle itself is a manifestation of memory, and thus has earned the name because of such memory.
I wish I could explain how my heart has, at the christening of B.E.L.L.A., become intuitively bound to her...but it is indeed, something that can only come to one who has felt first hand the magnitude of her influence.
She is truly an entity of such awesome power. Having realized that, I understand that if I do not respect her, and the limitless nature of who SHE is, I could devastate elements of delicate structure.
B.E.L.L.A., I want you to know that although my heart cries for you, I shall wait till all things are in order...for she has not even a form that states she is legal, no plates that will allow her to be taken out to the streets, or up the canyon, or anywhere else she might feel to go. But B.E.L.L.A., my dear sweet B.E.L.L.A....she is in my heart when we are at a distance...
There is very little that can explain the burning desire to be with someone who makes you feel like you belong in the heavens. Now I know that this may sound different to many people, but alas, it is what it is. She has been in my thoughts all week, and in my sunrise I just want to smile and tell her how much she reminds me of everything....
Many things tell me that her name is so important. It is the incantation of magical release! To speak it well, and proper, is to levitate the very calling of her name, and thus envelope yourself into the depth of her magnificence. I believe firstly that names are keys to the doorway of intimate intellect, and without possession of such keys we doom ourselves to mental famine.
She brings so much to my heart and mind, because there is so much in the meaning of her name. Everything about her name, spells the history of her life. Granted she may only have a short physical relationship with me, literally one week. But it is the emotional relationship that becomes everything....
I want you to meet B.E.L.L.A.
B - eautiful
E - legant
L - ovely
L - avish
A - ltruistic
No, I do not mean to say that what may appear to all of you as a simple motorcycle, possesses all of these things listed above. But rather, to suggest to you that the motorcycle's name, represents the very best in one whom possesses all of those qualities, and that the motorcycle itself is a manifestation of memory, and thus has earned the name because of such memory.
I wish I could explain how my heart has, at the christening of B.E.L.L.A., become intuitively bound to her...but it is indeed, something that can only come to one who has felt first hand the magnitude of her influence.
She is truly an entity of such awesome power. Having realized that, I understand that if I do not respect her, and the limitless nature of who SHE is, I could devastate elements of delicate structure.
B.E.L.L.A., I want you to know that although my heart cries for you, I shall wait till all things are in order...for she has not even a form that states she is legal, no plates that will allow her to be taken out to the streets, or up the canyon, or anywhere else she might feel to go. But B.E.L.L.A., my dear sweet B.E.L.L.A....she is in my heart when we are at a distance...
Friday, May 15, 2009
Angels and Demons
Ok, like I said I would be, I was for sure there at the midnight viewing of 'Angels and Demons'. My opinion of the film is that it was over all really really good. It captured most of the things that the book did, but it was a bit sudden on the actual start of the story into the plot. There was not a whole lot of intro, or explanation, or even the subtle type of opening like the book had. It jumped right in at conclave. It wasn't bad at all, just different. There were quite a few things different by way of roles played, and how they were portrayed, and what jobs some roles had throughout the movie, but I didn't mind it because key elements of the book were pretty different than key elements in the movie, but then they were all tied in through different character plots. I liked it! I really did. Not nearly the bloody film at all. The was some flesh branding but that is it, a few gun shots off here and there but nothing gory.
Like I said in my previous post about it, it is a movie that really addresses two sides of our society that seems to be at the most conflict most of the time. Very interesting movie if you like the controversial type of thing. Thats just me. I like it :)
Personal opinion: At the very least a must see, if only once.
Like I said in my previous post about it, it is a movie that really addresses two sides of our society that seems to be at the most conflict most of the time. Very interesting movie if you like the controversial type of thing. Thats just me. I like it :)
Personal opinion: At the very least a must see, if only once.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
THURSDAY!!!!
So...its thursday.....GUESS WHERE I AM GONNA BE AT MIDNIGHT?!?!?!?
...um yeah.....slightly excited. I will be sure to get on and leave my personal review of the film commencing 12:01 tonight. :-)
Make it a good day!
Make it a memorable day!
Make it a beautiful day!
Make it yours....
...and most of all...
Remember to smile....
...um yeah.....slightly excited. I will be sure to get on and leave my personal review of the film commencing 12:01 tonight. :-)
Make it a good day!
Make it a memorable day!
Make it a beautiful day!
Make it yours....
...and most of all...
Remember to smile....
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
at current....circles....
I feel like I am kinda running in circles....not sure why, not sure where these circles are taking place that I am apparently running around in. More interesting and possibly even funnier than anything else about it....is that for some reason I just want to keep running...
Perhaps if I keep running, I may find an outlet in these circles. But then what is on the outside of the circles? I know what is inside the circle - the level of comfort that tells me everything inside is going to be ok; A field of vision that tells me everything outside of the circle is there to test my faith and belief.
But what do I believe?
I speak not of the religious beliefs that govern the life I live, but rather, belief itself in the life I live. The decisions are mine. The consequences of such decisions are mine. The directions I am moving are mine. But to what end? I love....I truly love. It is not often, but when it is, it is deeply convicted...
Is this love a belief? Is it a knowledge? Is it an act of faith? All I know, is that it is love...and it is only love as far as I can understand it...which in most cases is only as far as I can see. Inside the circle, I see it clearly. Outside of the circle, I only pray it is there and willing to come inside, granted all elements are in order for it to do so...
I must be crazy....I speak of these things as if it will make a difference. It won't, at least not now...but i speak in hopes, nonetheless....
Perhaps if I keep running, I may find an outlet in these circles. But then what is on the outside of the circles? I know what is inside the circle - the level of comfort that tells me everything inside is going to be ok; A field of vision that tells me everything outside of the circle is there to test my faith and belief.
But what do I believe?
I speak not of the religious beliefs that govern the life I live, but rather, belief itself in the life I live. The decisions are mine. The consequences of such decisions are mine. The directions I am moving are mine. But to what end? I love....I truly love. It is not often, but when it is, it is deeply convicted...
Is this love a belief? Is it a knowledge? Is it an act of faith? All I know, is that it is love...and it is only love as far as I can understand it...which in most cases is only as far as I can see. Inside the circle, I see it clearly. Outside of the circle, I only pray it is there and willing to come inside, granted all elements are in order for it to do so...
I must be crazy....I speak of these things as if it will make a difference. It won't, at least not now...but i speak in hopes, nonetheless....
Saturday, May 9, 2009
MAY MADNESS!!
Ok its not really madness, its actually more like May...well, I guess its just may....
Firstly, to all the mothers out there, Happy Mother's day, God bless and God speed!
Secondly, concert was a raving success, and when I say raving, I mean RAVING! Not only did it turn out to be one of the best concerts I think I have seen my kids put on, but everything about it was very heart lifting, smile warming, and most of all, memorable....The students who took part in this years spring production were superb! They worked hard, and they deserved every sound of applause they received. The performance was stellar! Thank you, all of you!
Thirdly, lets talk movies!!!!
Movies this month that have been released, and are yet to be released are as follows:
May 1
-Ghosts of girlfriends past Starring Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Garner
- X-Men Origins - Starring Hugh Jackman and Liev Schreiber
Okay "critics" ;) j/k....
X men origins: Absolutely fantastic! Always loved the story of logan, and how his history was proclaimed. The story differs slightly from the original stories of the comic books(yes, I used to be a slight comic junkie), but thats ok. The portrayal of his life in that movie was pretty much accurate.
Ghosts of girlfriends past: Looks great! Looks Funny! Always been a fan of M.C.'s acting through his career, and there was even a time when my good friend Matthew and I used to watch "Alias" on the TV, because we were loyal watchers of the show(and of Jennifer Garner, in fact it was because of her that we first started watching the show, and THEN it turned in to actual interest in the show). It kinda makes me wonder about the girlfriends I had in the past..... ;)
May 8th
-Star Trek
Ok, I am not a trekkie or anything like that. My best friend even gives me grief because I haven't seen any of the original movies that came out some years ago, I think even before I went on the mission and such. But from the prevue's it turned over a side of interest, and then it began to grow everytime I saw it. As it turned out, I ended up at one of the late night show times to watch it. I enjoyed it! Very entertaining, and quite enlightening as well! If I had the chance to see it again, I think I would.
May 15th
Brothers Bloom
Angels and Demons
Brothers Bloom:
I don't know much about this movie, but that it talks about two brothers I think...and their lives as con-artists. I love Mark Ruffalo, and I think that Brody is a pretty good actor too. I don't know if I will push to see this movie, but if I end up with the opportunity I won't complain.
Angels and Demons:
Ok...where do we start..??? I think this might be the movie I am MOST excited about to be released this summer which is saying something! Terminator Salvation(which I will talk about next) comes out, and I am sure I want to see this one more than that. DaVinci code was fabulous! It spoke of a hidden truth(or so it was claimed by the author), and really put an interesting perspective on one of the biggest religions in the world we live in. When I read it, and saw it I told people(especially of the LDS affiliation) that it could have the potential to sunder testimony if a testimony wasn't sound. I think it was incredible simply because everything I had learned and studied about theology and history seemed to run so perfect in the movie. It complimented both fields of studies, and yet it tested the nature of them both as well.
Angels and Demons does the same. It speaks both of Religion and Science, and in such an intricate way, compliments both, and yet challenges them both at the same time. It addresses the questions really asked by everyone in this world. Was it the weaving hand of science that over the evolutionary periods of time have shaped us to what we are? Or was it the omnipotent hand of Deity that molded our world, and us? Is it wrong to think that one could not be if the other prove true? Or is it so far out to really believe that one truly supports and proves the truth of both...and the other as well? It shows us the true epic battle of the two dominant forces of driven will in the world: Science and religion. It may have some brutal points in the movie, but I think that is important to have, considering that those two things throughout time have been the two most elements that blood has been shed over. The two things in time that people were willing to die for...There is no question about it. I KNOW I will be there, at midnight make no mistake about it! ;)
May 21st
Terminator Salvation
Okay, this is the other one this month that I am dying to see! It is a VERY clost second to Angels and Demons, but that doesn't make it at all any inferior to the above listed, only that my interest in it is different, in a different way.
Any one who has seen the series of Terminator movies knows that this one has been long waited, and well earned. In the first film the machine was sent from the future, to destroy Sarah Connor, so John Connor(the apparent savior of the war with the machines) would not even be born. In the second film, after John Connor had been born, two machines were sent back from the future. One was sent to protect John Connor, and the other was sent to complete the job the first one was sent to do, only it wasn't ordered to kill Sarah...it was ordered to kill the boy John Connor. In the third film, a machine was sent from the future to ensure that "skynet"(the program that will allow the rise of the machines to commence) is successfully set into play within the computer systems of the human world. But as always, another one was sent back to stop it from happening. What ends up happening? Machine is stopped, but skynet is still launched and in turn sends John into the underground to be "safe", but it was actually so he and his wife could produce, while in the underground facility, the resistance team that will be used in the final war against the machines.
Finally, in the fourth film, here is what happens. A machine is sent back through time, but has not knowledge that it is a machine, and is under the belief that he is a human fighting with the resistance. What happens next...??? I don't know! It hasn't come out yet!!!
What a good month! I can't wait....I know this may be a little premature for the month of June, but just as excited as I am for Angels and Demons....is the movie Transformers 2! Yes!!!!!!
Ok I will stop blabbering about nothing important and let you all get back to your important lives. Good luck, and hope to see you all at the movies!!
God Bless!
Firstly, to all the mothers out there, Happy Mother's day, God bless and God speed!
Secondly, concert was a raving success, and when I say raving, I mean RAVING! Not only did it turn out to be one of the best concerts I think I have seen my kids put on, but everything about it was very heart lifting, smile warming, and most of all, memorable....The students who took part in this years spring production were superb! They worked hard, and they deserved every sound of applause they received. The performance was stellar! Thank you, all of you!
Thirdly, lets talk movies!!!!
Movies this month that have been released, and are yet to be released are as follows:
May 1
-Ghosts of girlfriends past Starring Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Garner
- X-Men Origins - Starring Hugh Jackman and Liev Schreiber
Okay "critics" ;) j/k....
X men origins: Absolutely fantastic! Always loved the story of logan, and how his history was proclaimed. The story differs slightly from the original stories of the comic books(yes, I used to be a slight comic junkie), but thats ok. The portrayal of his life in that movie was pretty much accurate.
Ghosts of girlfriends past: Looks great! Looks Funny! Always been a fan of M.C.'s acting through his career, and there was even a time when my good friend Matthew and I used to watch "Alias" on the TV, because we were loyal watchers of the show(and of Jennifer Garner, in fact it was because of her that we first started watching the show, and THEN it turned in to actual interest in the show). It kinda makes me wonder about the girlfriends I had in the past..... ;)
May 8th
-Star Trek
Ok, I am not a trekkie or anything like that. My best friend even gives me grief because I haven't seen any of the original movies that came out some years ago, I think even before I went on the mission and such. But from the prevue's it turned over a side of interest, and then it began to grow everytime I saw it. As it turned out, I ended up at one of the late night show times to watch it. I enjoyed it! Very entertaining, and quite enlightening as well! If I had the chance to see it again, I think I would.
May 15th
Brothers Bloom
Angels and Demons
Brothers Bloom:
I don't know much about this movie, but that it talks about two brothers I think...and their lives as con-artists. I love Mark Ruffalo, and I think that Brody is a pretty good actor too. I don't know if I will push to see this movie, but if I end up with the opportunity I won't complain.
Angels and Demons:
Ok...where do we start..??? I think this might be the movie I am MOST excited about to be released this summer which is saying something! Terminator Salvation(which I will talk about next) comes out, and I am sure I want to see this one more than that. DaVinci code was fabulous! It spoke of a hidden truth(or so it was claimed by the author), and really put an interesting perspective on one of the biggest religions in the world we live in. When I read it, and saw it I told people(especially of the LDS affiliation) that it could have the potential to sunder testimony if a testimony wasn't sound. I think it was incredible simply because everything I had learned and studied about theology and history seemed to run so perfect in the movie. It complimented both fields of studies, and yet it tested the nature of them both as well.
Angels and Demons does the same. It speaks both of Religion and Science, and in such an intricate way, compliments both, and yet challenges them both at the same time. It addresses the questions really asked by everyone in this world. Was it the weaving hand of science that over the evolutionary periods of time have shaped us to what we are? Or was it the omnipotent hand of Deity that molded our world, and us? Is it wrong to think that one could not be if the other prove true? Or is it so far out to really believe that one truly supports and proves the truth of both...and the other as well? It shows us the true epic battle of the two dominant forces of driven will in the world: Science and religion. It may have some brutal points in the movie, but I think that is important to have, considering that those two things throughout time have been the two most elements that blood has been shed over. The two things in time that people were willing to die for...There is no question about it. I KNOW I will be there, at midnight make no mistake about it! ;)
May 21st
Terminator Salvation
Okay, this is the other one this month that I am dying to see! It is a VERY clost second to Angels and Demons, but that doesn't make it at all any inferior to the above listed, only that my interest in it is different, in a different way.
Any one who has seen the series of Terminator movies knows that this one has been long waited, and well earned. In the first film the machine was sent from the future, to destroy Sarah Connor, so John Connor(the apparent savior of the war with the machines) would not even be born. In the second film, after John Connor had been born, two machines were sent back from the future. One was sent to protect John Connor, and the other was sent to complete the job the first one was sent to do, only it wasn't ordered to kill Sarah...it was ordered to kill the boy John Connor. In the third film, a machine was sent from the future to ensure that "skynet"(the program that will allow the rise of the machines to commence) is successfully set into play within the computer systems of the human world. But as always, another one was sent back to stop it from happening. What ends up happening? Machine is stopped, but skynet is still launched and in turn sends John into the underground to be "safe", but it was actually so he and his wife could produce, while in the underground facility, the resistance team that will be used in the final war against the machines.
Finally, in the fourth film, here is what happens. A machine is sent back through time, but has not knowledge that it is a machine, and is under the belief that he is a human fighting with the resistance. What happens next...??? I don't know! It hasn't come out yet!!!
What a good month! I can't wait....I know this may be a little premature for the month of June, but just as excited as I am for Angels and Demons....is the movie Transformers 2! Yes!!!!!!
Ok I will stop blabbering about nothing important and let you all get back to your important lives. Good luck, and hope to see you all at the movies!!
God Bless!
Friday, May 8, 2009
Fun!!!!
Oh yes, it is now time for all the fun...well, as much fun as I can have with school started again....meh.....
Anyhow, it is concert week, and our show opens tomorrow...wait, I mean today! First show is tonight at 7! I am very excited for this concert! I wish everyone could come, and see how amazing these kids are and how much passion they have for what they do! Its awesome!
Tonight after work, I ran down to the local theater, and watched the new movie come out called "Star Trek". I am not a huge trekkie or anything like that, but I was pretty interested in seeing this movie for some reason. I liked it! I liked it a lot! But the movie that has captured my little imagination and attention, is the movie coming out next weekend. "Angels and Demons" is probably one of the most exciting movie I think I have been waiting for! I will for sure be there at midnight, if there is such a show next week. I can't even think straight, I am so excited....
Movies....they are a good past time, if thats correctly used as such. But they do more for me than just create past time, or entertainment...they are a reminder to me of things...things past, and things future. They help me retain good memories of good times...how I miss those times...but alas, all in proper I reckon.
This has been a good week for me. I wish I could say something cool, or memorable about my week, but it was just an ordinary week, in the life of an ordinary man(if I can even be considered a man). And I am ok with that. It may be just "ordinary", but it is a stellar experience for me to live in my life...because it is just as nuts as anything I have ever been part of...and I have been part of something amazing, and I would never let that go for anything!
In time, all things shall take proper course....of that I am sure. :)
Anyhow, it is concert week, and our show opens tomorrow...wait, I mean today! First show is tonight at 7! I am very excited for this concert! I wish everyone could come, and see how amazing these kids are and how much passion they have for what they do! Its awesome!
Tonight after work, I ran down to the local theater, and watched the new movie come out called "Star Trek". I am not a huge trekkie or anything like that, but I was pretty interested in seeing this movie for some reason. I liked it! I liked it a lot! But the movie that has captured my little imagination and attention, is the movie coming out next weekend. "Angels and Demons" is probably one of the most exciting movie I think I have been waiting for! I will for sure be there at midnight, if there is such a show next week. I can't even think straight, I am so excited....
Movies....they are a good past time, if thats correctly used as such. But they do more for me than just create past time, or entertainment...they are a reminder to me of things...things past, and things future. They help me retain good memories of good times...how I miss those times...but alas, all in proper I reckon.
This has been a good week for me. I wish I could say something cool, or memorable about my week, but it was just an ordinary week, in the life of an ordinary man(if I can even be considered a man). And I am ok with that. It may be just "ordinary", but it is a stellar experience for me to live in my life...because it is just as nuts as anything I have ever been part of...and I have been part of something amazing, and I would never let that go for anything!
In time, all things shall take proper course....of that I am sure. :)
Thursday, May 7, 2009
GOOD NEWS!
No I am not having a baby...besides, don't you need a wife for that kind of thing anyway...??? NO! I am not getting married either, you bunch a weirdo's! Jeez, get your heads straight! ;)
But, I did....in the most strenuous semester of my life, manage to pass all my classes! Yes!!!!! I was worried about my civi class, but I got a B, and I got a C in my astronomy class which I thought I was doing much better in. But that was my lowest grade! Granted I didn't get a 4.0....but that is quite ok with me I think, considering the load I was taking this semester.
I just thought I would give a "FINALS" update, and there you have it.!
May sunshine and a cool breeze, always accompany you, ever where you may find yourself...
-The Brown Guy-
But, I did....in the most strenuous semester of my life, manage to pass all my classes! Yes!!!!! I was worried about my civi class, but I got a B, and I got a C in my astronomy class which I thought I was doing much better in. But that was my lowest grade! Granted I didn't get a 4.0....but that is quite ok with me I think, considering the load I was taking this semester.
I just thought I would give a "FINALS" update, and there you have it.!
May sunshine and a cool breeze, always accompany you, ever where you may find yourself...
-The Brown Guy-
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
What an un-godly hour....
...or is it quite the contrary? I think so... :)
This image is of the beautiful peak overlooking the valley where I live, and a harness of the greatest memory...
People say that times like it is now(2:45am), is supposedly "un-godly". But how is it possible to be such an ungodly hour, when I find the most understanding, I feel the most at peace, and I sense that those far away, could be closer? Over all I feel like those things that I need in my life might be closer to me when I am in these hours of the morning.
I feel sometimes I want to curse and bless technology at the same time. I love it because it allows me to get so much done at the reach of my hands, and the punch of computer keys. I enjoy a great deal of digital engineering. I spend a great deal of time, creating things of sentiment value for those that are dear and close to me. I create solid and tangible evidence of memory, so the very memories that are created, can be taken, and cherished for as long as technology is available. I blog....I never really felt the need for it in the past, didn't really want to get into it, but now that i have I appreciate it SO much more. It is the very means of communication to some whom I may not see or physically talk to for a very long time. I edit music at the touch of the mouse. I read detailed message updates from dear ones cherished. I speak to family across the country via 'webcam', and see how they are doing; nieces and nephews growing older, and becoming smarter...which reminds me...Jack buddy, Laki saw you in a photo, and asked why he never see's you anymore...? I told him that you had a lot to do, caring for and looking after some pretty special people in your life. I think He understands....he takes care of me more often than I admit...but I told him, that maybe, sometime later, he might get to see you again. I hope that is so...
On the other hand, I condemn the reach of my hands into the touch of technology, because the very reach of my hands, and the act of tapping the keyboard, composes a medley of internet sites, all of which flood memories of the greatest times...and yet some of the most foolish times...
I love where I am...I love where I am going...I wish only, that there was a hand I could share it with.
A friend asked me recently why I don't have a "lady friend", and why I am not pursuing in order to find myself a "lady friend"...I really didn't have much to say to that, except, that I feel like in the recent attempts of dating, and courting the few local girls that sparked any kind of interest, I didn't get anything in return but silent ridicule, and I often felt like I was used...I didn't really want to answer in that particular way to this friend of mine, and so I didn't. All I know, is that inside I have this burning sensation, and it tells me that my time is coming....I don't know exactly what that means, as I don't know what much of anything means in this bloody world...but i do know that the feeling I have, can not be ignored; To ignore, would surely mean to bring greater upset, and who needs more upset, especially now....
I keep my life in a busy, and very rigorous routine. As someone dear to me once wrote, "I don't like to upset that"...I involve my time and energy in to those things that satisfy the working mind, and yet keeps it yearning for more. But only one thing can truly satisfy the yearning SOUL...to share the soul...
Monday, May 4, 2009
Loss or gain...?
In the light of life, so cherished as it is, I find myself asking a simple question yet again. However, this time it is not to the mirror that I adore so much, but rather it is to the skies above, and the stars beyond....
Have I lost....or have I gained....???
I seek the comfort of heart, and find it in a name...not my name, but a name of such resounding beauty to me...
I search for life, and find it in the treasured sound of a voice, not my voice, but a voice of such spoken serenity to me...
I draw a picture of the dictated images of happiness that only my heart can illustrate, and it is no folly, that the picture is not of me...
I feel for the resolution of mind that every one longs to acquire and endure, especially through hard times...and acquisition is sustained, but not because of me...
...One has found the loyal dedication to his heart, and therefore drawn the happiness of life as only he can understand, and in doing so has found consolation in the solidity of his decision.
The results of such have essentially allowed me to invest time into other aspects of life that need to be completed. However, the aspect of social communion, has therefore become nearly non-existent, and that to me is perfect.
I have surrendered my desire for lesser things, in search of higher understanding and deeper fulfillment. In doing so, have I lost or have I gained...???
Have I lost....or have I gained....???
I seek the comfort of heart, and find it in a name...not my name, but a name of such resounding beauty to me...
I search for life, and find it in the treasured sound of a voice, not my voice, but a voice of such spoken serenity to me...
I draw a picture of the dictated images of happiness that only my heart can illustrate, and it is no folly, that the picture is not of me...
I feel for the resolution of mind that every one longs to acquire and endure, especially through hard times...and acquisition is sustained, but not because of me...
...One has found the loyal dedication to his heart, and therefore drawn the happiness of life as only he can understand, and in doing so has found consolation in the solidity of his decision.
The results of such have essentially allowed me to invest time into other aspects of life that need to be completed. However, the aspect of social communion, has therefore become nearly non-existent, and that to me is perfect.
I have surrendered my desire for lesser things, in search of higher understanding and deeper fulfillment. In doing so, have I lost or have I gained...???
Friday, May 1, 2009
The Mirror...
Here I sit, a result of the day...bruised(literally because of a rough game of ultimate frisbee), broken(simply because in the above mentioned game, I re-injured the same shoulder that I had multiple times before, as well as a pulled hip flexor), and in awe of such a day that came with out warning, and without forgiveness. Do not be deceived by the words which I write here, for it is in my decision to make my day what it is, that makes me the very result of it.
Each morning as I prepare to observe myself in the rays of accomplishment, should I find such a thing in my day, I inquire of the emptiness that surrounds me and find interest in the silence of its answer.
"Are you there?"
To whom do I speak you might ask? And it is with a smile that I answer, with a question of my own. To whom would you like to be speaking with? To they that are in my heart, which could be anybody. It needs not be a physical person I speak to, nor need there be someone to respond at all. I speak with my heart, and therefore, feel the response from those whom I speak, also within my heart. I need not words. I need only the soft rhythm with which I hear the answer. If my heart sounds, so does the heart from which I seek the return.
Is it God? Of course! Is it love that you speak to? How could it be anything else?
And then in the dawning moment of each beautiful morning, I find the dawning moment of realization. Through the mists of each day, I look for the clearing. And it is there that I find it. The mirror...and upon looking at said mirror I find the answer! No....it is not my reflection that I see, for there is none to behold. But rather, it is in the unclear images, that I find what I need....the symbol drawn in the accumulated clouds, printed in to the face of reflection, so that I may see it every day...
Thus, it is without warning that my heart is taken, and even more so, it is not forgiving...for the emotion that is withdrawn so overwhelms the soul with great intensity that it can only bring tears...tears of welcome spirit...tears that have written a name across the holds of memory...
To dear God, I know you are there. It is not question nor doubt. It is only truth and conviction.
To dear love...I pray you return, for I miss thee...and my heart longs to hold you close...
The mirror becomes the point of choice, and because it is one near the first element of my day, it is also one near the last. It begins there as a choice...and ends there as the result....
Each morning as I prepare to observe myself in the rays of accomplishment, should I find such a thing in my day, I inquire of the emptiness that surrounds me and find interest in the silence of its answer.
"Are you there?"
To whom do I speak you might ask? And it is with a smile that I answer, with a question of my own. To whom would you like to be speaking with? To they that are in my heart, which could be anybody. It needs not be a physical person I speak to, nor need there be someone to respond at all. I speak with my heart, and therefore, feel the response from those whom I speak, also within my heart. I need not words. I need only the soft rhythm with which I hear the answer. If my heart sounds, so does the heart from which I seek the return.
Is it God? Of course! Is it love that you speak to? How could it be anything else?
And then in the dawning moment of each beautiful morning, I find the dawning moment of realization. Through the mists of each day, I look for the clearing. And it is there that I find it. The mirror...and upon looking at said mirror I find the answer! No....it is not my reflection that I see, for there is none to behold. But rather, it is in the unclear images, that I find what I need....the symbol drawn in the accumulated clouds, printed in to the face of reflection, so that I may see it every day...
Thus, it is without warning that my heart is taken, and even more so, it is not forgiving...for the emotion that is withdrawn so overwhelms the soul with great intensity that it can only bring tears...tears of welcome spirit...tears that have written a name across the holds of memory...
To dear God, I know you are there. It is not question nor doubt. It is only truth and conviction.
To dear love...I pray you return, for I miss thee...and my heart longs to hold you close...
The mirror becomes the point of choice, and because it is one near the first element of my day, it is also one near the last. It begins there as a choice...and ends there as the result....
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Finals!!!
This is it...where it all comes down to...results of the push....
...FINALS....
It is now 11:30, and I am not quite ready to go to bed yet. I should...because I have an early day tomorrow, first final at 7:00am, meaning I need to be up and ready by 6:00, so I can be warming up my voice! My first final is a voice performance of my first ever, SATB composition. For my first, I think it is good...I am recording it, and hopefully it will sound good. If so, I will see about attaching an audio file of it...if thats even possible. Wish me all luck!
I think all together, finals are LAME!!! But I guess that is how it goes when you are NOT the teacher. :P still think its lame, but maybe I am just complaining....I think I do that sometimes....
On a good note, I am here at the end of the semester, the one I thought I was gonna die in. AND I DIDN'T! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, I still have two more assignments before I can go to bed, so I am off.
See ya!!!
...FINALS....
It is now 11:30, and I am not quite ready to go to bed yet. I should...because I have an early day tomorrow, first final at 7:00am, meaning I need to be up and ready by 6:00, so I can be warming up my voice! My first final is a voice performance of my first ever, SATB composition. For my first, I think it is good...I am recording it, and hopefully it will sound good. If so, I will see about attaching an audio file of it...if thats even possible. Wish me all luck!
I think all together, finals are LAME!!! But I guess that is how it goes when you are NOT the teacher. :P still think its lame, but maybe I am just complaining....I think I do that sometimes....
On a good note, I am here at the end of the semester, the one I thought I was gonna die in. AND I DIDN'T! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Well, I still have two more assignments before I can go to bed, so I am off.
See ya!!!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Almost done!!!
Ok, so the last official week of school is done, and one hell of a week it has been too! Man, this week has seriously crippled my thought processes, and its not quite through yet. This is just the last official week, and then finals start next week!
My first final begins at 7am on monday morning, and how excited I am for it too! Two finals on moday, two on wednesday, and that SHOULD be it for the finals. My other classes don't have any kind of comprehensive finals, which is a good thing! :P
Through this semester I kept telling myself I would never to this again, at least not this big of a load...here I am, getting ready to plan another big, stupid, busy, ridiculous, semester just like this one. Am I mad?!?! I think so! Especially I will have even MORE going on by way of work and teaching. Getting a junior company again, directing the color guard for the marching band, my regular teaching schedule, coaching, and once again....of course I will be in school again :}....MADNESS!!! But for some odd reason...I like it....any guesses as to why I like so much craziness???
I think I like it so much because it keeps me busy, and not in depths of "nothing to do", or "I miss you", or "I'm bored", or anything else that comes into mind when I am just sitting. I can't stand it when nothing is going on in my life...
....Oh well....Life goes on, and if you don't go with it, well.....you get left behind right? I guess you win some you lose some eh?
My first final begins at 7am on monday morning, and how excited I am for it too! Two finals on moday, two on wednesday, and that SHOULD be it for the finals. My other classes don't have any kind of comprehensive finals, which is a good thing! :P
Through this semester I kept telling myself I would never to this again, at least not this big of a load...here I am, getting ready to plan another big, stupid, busy, ridiculous, semester just like this one. Am I mad?!?! I think so! Especially I will have even MORE going on by way of work and teaching. Getting a junior company again, directing the color guard for the marching band, my regular teaching schedule, coaching, and once again....of course I will be in school again :}....MADNESS!!! But for some odd reason...I like it....any guesses as to why I like so much craziness???
I think I like it so much because it keeps me busy, and not in depths of "nothing to do", or "I miss you", or "I'm bored", or anything else that comes into mind when I am just sitting. I can't stand it when nothing is going on in my life...
....Oh well....Life goes on, and if you don't go with it, well.....you get left behind right? I guess you win some you lose some eh?
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Open Mic...
Ok, so I got done with work around 9:30 and when I checked my phone, I had a text message from a good friend of mine, Joey Ranalli, asking if I wanted to come down to the pennyroyal for open mic...needless to say, I was stoked to go. Joey is a good friend of mine, and we have such a good musical chemistry. We can feel each other, and read each others intentions by way of how we move in our music.
When I got down there he was waiting, and so was the cafe. I plugged in, and away we went. Improv chord progression, and improv lyrics, we do what we do well...we create music.
Joey is truly a talented person of musical magic. On a previous occasion where we were able to just sit, kick back, and play music freely, one of my best friend's sister was there, and she was SO convinced that we were playing rehearsed music....but she was in utter shock when she learned that I was just playing free chord progression, and he was creating lyrics on the spot. I can't tell you how intimidating it is to stand next to someone of such musical genius as is Joey.
On a positive note, I am learning the comforts of open guitar, under the veil of eyes that is the world audience; I hope to be able to stand, breath in, and in turn release the musical vision I feel is stirring within me, the movement of my soul, and the smile it brings to my heart...and hopefully to yours too...
God Bless...
When I got down there he was waiting, and so was the cafe. I plugged in, and away we went. Improv chord progression, and improv lyrics, we do what we do well...we create music.
Joey is truly a talented person of musical magic. On a previous occasion where we were able to just sit, kick back, and play music freely, one of my best friend's sister was there, and she was SO convinced that we were playing rehearsed music....but she was in utter shock when she learned that I was just playing free chord progression, and he was creating lyrics on the spot. I can't tell you how intimidating it is to stand next to someone of such musical genius as is Joey.
On a positive note, I am learning the comforts of open guitar, under the veil of eyes that is the world audience; I hope to be able to stand, breath in, and in turn release the musical vision I feel is stirring within me, the movement of my soul, and the smile it brings to my heart...and hopefully to yours too...
God Bless...
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