Checking in...

This world is truly an awesome world, where life is not complete unless you have some life of luxury, at least to some degree. At least that is what the world would have us think, that is what our society would have us believe...

I use the word awesome, not because I think it is something incredibly good...but rather, to the true nature of the word, it is a subject that honestly leaves me in awe...

I don't know how else to put this, I don't know where you are, I don't know how you are doing...all I know is that I get a small piece of happiness when I see the random, but cherished notes sent from you.

They can not be expected, so I don't expect them.

They can not be responded to, so I don't respond to them.

And they can not be ignored...so I don't ignore them...

How could I ignore them? How could I ignore you...when far inside there is still a deep appreciation for you, and for your life, and for everything you have become.

I don't know how you really are doing, I can only assume, based on the short notes I get, that you are truly doing well. And for that I am happy! I am deeply happy for you. I could not ask for you to be blessed in a better way than you are now. I hear it is the happiest moments in life, to bring new life...I pray for the health and life of the little one soon to enter this world. And is that not an element that would create a life of luxury? I think so, I believe so, I know so...

I find myself writing again,
for no other reason than to tell you,
just how happy I think I really have been,
being involved with everything I do.

And odd it seems, to think day after day
that the only comfort I find is when I pray.
Hoping for an answer to a question I have had;
after hearing your news, "whats it like to be a...dad?"

I would always love to hear from you;
hows your boy? And yes, the little one too?
Me? I'm really well, I assure you I am;
This is me checking in, the only way that I can...