A look from past, to present, into future.....Salvation...

I apologize that this review took so long to put up here, but it became a really busy day, a busy week, and an even busier weekend! But as to my word, here it is.

Terminator opened last thursday, and it was FABULOUS! Film opened with a sequence with a man donating his body to a genetic research division of skynet laboratories. And then it jumped into the film...

I thought it was fantastic how everywhere in the movie, they paid homage to the previous three films. Gas station identical's from terminator 1, hot metallic fluid and frozen terminators from number 2, arnold got to have his cameo in this movie, plus several SEVERAL more. It was great! Even better, is that it is the first terminator movie that wasn't rated 'R'.

Great developement of characters and stellar written story line. If you haven't seen the other three movies, I might recommend that you try to see them, or at least get online somewhere and read the synopsi of all three. I only say that because, my friend Bob Dole, who went to see the film with us, was quite a bit confused because he hadn't seen any of the other films.

Other than that, intense film all the way through! It illustrated(in my opinion), the power of choice, and how we truly can change and alter the course of life by actions and results of our choices. Powerful movie, not just because it was good, or that the actors were good, but because the messages of the movie, if thought over carefully, really possess the mind capturing energy to help us see something of deeper meaning and more importance than just spending money to entertain us.

My recommendation? See the movie....but know what happened in the previous film's first ;)

God Bless!

Salvation!

Today is the day that the next midnight movie shall take place! Terminator salvation will be released tonight at 12:01, and as usual, the crazy person that I am will be found in line, waiting for hours for the movie to begin.





I think this should be a pretty good movie. After all, it is the most stellar of actors by the name of Christian Bale. When it is complete, I shall, as always, give my report on the movie.

Peace!!!

"...Double take your speed in the opposite direction..."

...Dreams...

Well, I said if I had dreams I would share them. Some how I knew I would. That is the interesting thing about it because I don't often remember dreams when I have them. It is said that when you sleep, your mind has to dream because it has to be working in order to function. If your mind ceases to work....you die.

I have learned little about psychology and the inner working of the human mind, but what I do know is that it is a powerful device. Dreams are also said to be a certain reality built upon our deepest desires, or our deepest fears. Taken from the far reaches of our mind(being the only place our mind has to take from), our mind will build these realities while we sleep based on the information it has.

In many cases, dreams have also been known to see, and warn us of future events. Little do we know at the time of reckoning, that we were literally watching future events that have not occurred yet. We don't realize what it is till the event actually transpires. "Deja Vu" anyone?

I don't claim to know what any of this means, but my word was to share, and so I share.

The dream...

There I was in my bedroom, one of the places of near complete solitude from the rigorous world we all live in. In walked a dear friend of mine. Saying a thousand things in a moment of silence, I felt like I was in shock. First of all seeing her here, and second, that she said nothing....but only looked at me.

After a long moment, she began walking through my bedroom. Slowly she started taking up little items of sentimental worth, and put them away. Hats, gloves, glasses, etc., she would put them in her bag. Turning pictures face down, she continued through the bedroom.

I didn't know why I was watching this happen, either in my dream or in the "real" world that was my dream.

I witnessed the whole thing and remained paralyzed as she did. Occasionally she would look at me and send her eyes so deep into my soul that I would have to look away to keep from weeping.

I found myself sitting out in the covered car port at my house. I never saw her physically walk out the door, but I knew she was in her car that was parked in front. The engine started, and when she drove away, I noticed she was not alone in the car. "Who?" I wondered, but it was too late. She was gone...

I returned to my bedroom to see what had happened. I found letters missing, pictures gone, and sentiment robbed of my solitude. On a shelf above my computer desk I saw a picture of my family standing with a bouquet of flowers in front of it. Next to that I found another picture of the team I coach. "Interesting", that she would place those two photo's next to each other, and above my desk.

I continued to look around the room to see what things had been moved, taken, or changed. Many things were...but on the bed, I found a piece of ribbon. On it was written a short message.

"...Double take your speed in the opposite direction..."

Sleep...

....whats that?!

Here I am at 1:15, and I know I have a early engagement at 7:00 to cut music, and I really want to go to sleep but I just can't. What else to do when you can't sleep..???

BLOG!!!!!!!

What do you do when you can't sleep because there is too much to think about, and yet there really is nothing to think about that can be done with what you are thinking about...??? ...ouch.... Did that really hurt that much to think about, or is it really just getting late?

Some other thoughts while they are on my mind:

IF you are doing what by heart, feels right, and yet by the law it is 'considered' wrong, is it wrong? Or is it right?

How do you approach someone who has been in violation of so many things, and yet they feel like they are completely free of any wrong?

What is it about you that makes you who you are? What is it about you that will make me remember you more so than any others?

Is it ok to tell an 'appropriate lie'?

B.E.L.L.A. thinks its fun to be out at night under the stars....I do too!!! :)

I am colorblind...

Ok, I think my heart and mind are completely consumed by anxiety, and therefore have nothing of worth to say anymore...

Did I tell you that I can't remember that last time I watched a full TV episode of...well, just about anything tha wasn't news? I think I am crazy....I was visiting with some dear friends of mine, Matthew Stacey, Chris Buttars, Tyler Whittaker(long time good friends), and Tyler's girlfriend Jessica. Matthew kept quoting 'Simpsons', Tyler kept quoting 'Futurama', and Chris kept quoting 'Family Guy'...all I could do was sit and watch them, and laugh when something occured as funny to me. I quote movies....but none of them knew what the heck I was talking about.

We played 'Rock Band' for a bit, and when I would ask what movie some of the songs were from they would look at me like I was retarded or something....but what are friends for if not to make you feel retarded about things eh? To love you more as soon as they are done making you feel that way! :)

All I know is that the thoughts in my head at present are constituted of many things, from many different places, and most of all from many different friends. I always wondered what it would be like to finally take a trip to Alberta...I even entertained the idea of doing it this weekend over memorial. But what would I find there? Who knows...???

I wanna take a trip back to Jamaica, see old friends, visit old stomping grounds, and perhaps share the sunsets and beaches with someone close to me. When will it all happen? Heaven knows when, if ever at all.

There is so much do to, and so little time to do it in. So many people in the world and so few the minutes to meet them all. So many places to see....but none of it means anything without someone to frame the memories with.

You know, I think I need to get this out....For months I have felt a certain heart ache, and slowly I have felt it become firm in its belief. Some people say I am getting old, and that I need to get married. Trust me when I say that its not for lack of trying. Even recently, in the last couple months, back in november, back last summer....I tried with my soul to become emotionally involved with someone. It would start, and it would feel 'ok', but before I could even any further along with any one, the overwhelming sense of betrayal always over took me. That sense came only to myself, because of myself.

What I mean to say, is that my heart has given itself to a sense of loyalty. And in doing that, has become wary of betrayal. I can feel it when it is present. I enjoy the company of dear friends, even friends that are ladies. But because of my heart, I can not invest more than certain friendships with those around me.

It is now 1:45, I need sleep to come...perhaps when I dream, I shall share it! :)

God Bless...

Suddenly Sunday!

And there it was, all of a sudden...it snuck up on me....Sunday! What a great day! I spent the day at my parents ward, because I was helping my mother give her Sunday school presentation on Temples.



How beautiful a blessing it is that we have temples in our midst, that we have the power of the Priesthood to grace our lives with the light of love of our Heavenly Father. How true the gospel is, here in the fullness of the dispensation of times. And how happy it is I find myself, living within the perimeter of its protection!

I watched today, as my Mother bore her witness of the divine truth of everlasting ordinances, and how the saving ordinances bears the burdens of the world so she does not have to. My father as well, watched as his love of eternity bore her soul in the name of Christ our Savior. How tremendous a testimony it is that they have born children, and bore them hand in hand teaching the precepts of eternal salvation.

How blessed am I to be able to have such amazing parents. Its been too long since I sat in church meetings with them, and listened to them testify of the things they know to be truth. I hope and pray that I will be at least half the man as my father, at least half the example as my mother, and at least half the testimony of truth as are my parents.

I love them both, dearly....

Its time you meet her...

Ok, so it has been a long week, not really long by way of the time aspect since each day has 24 hours, each hour has 60 minutes, and each minute has 60 seconds. But what made the week long is simply that every second of every minute, seemed to cry out one thing...how much I wanted to be with her.

There is very little that can explain the burning desire to be with someone who makes you feel like you belong in the heavens. Now I know that this may sound different to many people, but alas, it is what it is. She has been in my thoughts all week, and in my sunrise I just want to smile and tell her how much she reminds me of everything....

Many things tell me that her name is so important. It is the incantation of magical release! To speak it well, and proper, is to levitate the very calling of her name, and thus envelope yourself into the depth of her magnificence. I believe firstly that names are keys to the doorway of intimate intellect, and without possession of such keys we doom ourselves to mental famine.

She brings so much to my heart and mind, because there is so much in the meaning of her name. Everything about her name, spells the history of her life. Granted she may only have a short physical relationship with me, literally one week. But it is the emotional relationship that becomes everything....

I want you to meet B.E.L.L.A.



B - eautiful
E - legant
L - ovely
L - avish
A - ltruistic

No, I do not mean to say that what may appear to all of you as a simple motorcycle, possesses all of these things listed above. But rather, to suggest to you that the motorcycle's name, represents the very best in one whom possesses all of those qualities, and that the motorcycle itself is a manifestation of memory, and thus has earned the name because of such memory.

I wish I could explain how my heart has, at the christening of B.E.L.L.A., become intuitively bound to her...but it is indeed, something that can only come to one who has felt first hand the magnitude of her influence.

She is truly an entity of such awesome power. Having realized that, I understand that if I do not respect her, and the limitless nature of who SHE is, I could devastate elements of delicate structure.

B.E.L.L.A., I want you to know that although my heart cries for you, I shall wait till all things are in order...for she has not even a form that states she is legal, no plates that will allow her to be taken out to the streets, or up the canyon, or anywhere else she might feel to go. But B.E.L.L.A., my dear sweet B.E.L.L.A....she is in my heart when we are at a distance...

Angels and Demons

Ok, like I said I would be, I was for sure there at the midnight viewing of 'Angels and Demons'. My opinion of the film is that it was over all really really good. It captured most of the things that the book did, but it was a bit sudden on the actual start of the story into the plot. There was not a whole lot of intro, or explanation, or even the subtle type of opening like the book had. It jumped right in at conclave. It wasn't bad at all, just different. There were quite a few things different by way of roles played, and how they were portrayed, and what jobs some roles had throughout the movie, but I didn't mind it because key elements of the book were pretty different than key elements in the movie, but then they were all tied in through different character plots. I liked it! I really did. Not nearly the bloody film at all. The was some flesh branding but that is it, a few gun shots off here and there but nothing gory.

Like I said in my previous post about it, it is a movie that really addresses two sides of our society that seems to be at the most conflict most of the time. Very interesting movie if you like the controversial type of thing. Thats just me. I like it :)

Personal opinion: At the very least a must see, if only once.

THURSDAY!!!!

So...its thursday.....GUESS WHERE I AM GONNA BE AT MIDNIGHT?!?!?!?

...um yeah.....slightly excited. I will be sure to get on and leave my personal review of the film commencing 12:01 tonight. :-)

Make it a good day!
Make it a memorable day!
Make it a beautiful day!
Make it yours....

...and most of all...

Remember to smile....

at current....circles....

I feel like I am kinda running in circles....not sure why, not sure where these circles are taking place that I am apparently running around in. More interesting and possibly even funnier than anything else about it....is that for some reason I just want to keep running...

Perhaps if I keep running, I may find an outlet in these circles. But then what is on the outside of the circles? I know what is inside the circle - the level of comfort that tells me everything inside is going to be ok; A field of vision that tells me everything outside of the circle is there to test my faith and belief.

But what do I believe?

I speak not of the religious beliefs that govern the life I live, but rather, belief itself in the life I live. The decisions are mine. The consequences of such decisions are mine. The directions I am moving are mine. But to what end? I love....I truly love. It is not often, but when it is, it is deeply convicted...

Is this love a belief? Is it a knowledge? Is it an act of faith? All I know, is that it is love...and it is only love as far as I can understand it...which in most cases is only as far as I can see. Inside the circle, I see it clearly. Outside of the circle, I only pray it is there and willing to come inside, granted all elements are in order for it to do so...

I must be crazy....I speak of these things as if it will make a difference. It won't, at least not now...but i speak in hopes, nonetheless....

MAY MADNESS!!

Ok its not really madness, its actually more like May...well, I guess its just may....

Firstly, to all the mothers out there, Happy Mother's day, God bless and God speed!

Secondly, concert was a raving success, and when I say raving, I mean RAVING! Not only did it turn out to be one of the best concerts I think I have seen my kids put on, but everything about it was very heart lifting, smile warming, and most of all, memorable....The students who took part in this years spring production were superb! They worked hard, and they deserved every sound of applause they received. The performance was stellar! Thank you, all of you!

Thirdly, lets talk movies!!!!

Movies this month that have been released, and are yet to be released are as follows:

May 1
-Ghosts of girlfriends past Starring Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Garner
- X-Men Origins - Starring Hugh Jackman and Liev Schreiber

Okay "critics" ;) j/k....

X men origins: Absolutely fantastic! Always loved the story of logan, and how his history was proclaimed. The story differs slightly from the original stories of the comic books(yes, I used to be a slight comic junkie), but thats ok. The portrayal of his life in that movie was pretty much accurate.

Ghosts of girlfriends past: Looks great! Looks Funny! Always been a fan of M.C.'s acting through his career, and there was even a time when my good friend Matthew and I used to watch "Alias" on the TV, because we were loyal watchers of the show(and of Jennifer Garner, in fact it was because of her that we first started watching the show, and THEN it turned in to actual interest in the show). It kinda makes me wonder about the girlfriends I had in the past..... ;)

May 8th

-Star Trek

Ok, I am not a trekkie or anything like that. My best friend even gives me grief because I haven't seen any of the original movies that came out some years ago, I think even before I went on the mission and such. But from the prevue's it turned over a side of interest, and then it began to grow everytime I saw it. As it turned out, I ended up at one of the late night show times to watch it. I enjoyed it! Very entertaining, and quite enlightening as well! If I had the chance to see it again, I think I would.

May 15th

Brothers Bloom
Angels and Demons

Brothers Bloom:
I don't know much about this movie, but that it talks about two brothers I think...and their lives as con-artists. I love Mark Ruffalo, and I think that Brody is a pretty good actor too. I don't know if I will push to see this movie, but if I end up with the opportunity I won't complain.

Angels and Demons:
Ok...where do we start..??? I think this might be the movie I am MOST excited about to be released this summer which is saying something! Terminator Salvation(which I will talk about next) comes out, and I am sure I want to see this one more than that. DaVinci code was fabulous! It spoke of a hidden truth(or so it was claimed by the author), and really put an interesting perspective on one of the biggest religions in the world we live in. When I read it, and saw it I told people(especially of the LDS affiliation) that it could have the potential to sunder testimony if a testimony wasn't sound. I think it was incredible simply because everything I had learned and studied about theology and history seemed to run so perfect in the movie. It complimented both fields of studies, and yet it tested the nature of them both as well.

Angels and Demons does the same. It speaks both of Religion and Science, and in such an intricate way, compliments both, and yet challenges them both at the same time. It addresses the questions really asked by everyone in this world. Was it the weaving hand of science that over the evolutionary periods of time have shaped us to what we are? Or was it the omnipotent hand of Deity that molded our world, and us? Is it wrong to think that one could not be if the other prove true? Or is it so far out to really believe that one truly supports and proves the truth of both...and the other as well? It shows us the true epic battle of the two dominant forces of driven will in the world: Science and religion. It may have some brutal points in the movie, but I think that is important to have, considering that those two things throughout time have been the two most elements that blood has been shed over. The two things in time that people were willing to die for...There is no question about it. I KNOW I will be there, at midnight make no mistake about it! ;)

May 21st
Terminator Salvation

Okay, this is the other one this month that I am dying to see! It is a VERY clost second to Angels and Demons, but that doesn't make it at all any inferior to the above listed, only that my interest in it is different, in a different way.

Any one who has seen the series of Terminator movies knows that this one has been long waited, and well earned. In the first film the machine was sent from the future, to destroy Sarah Connor, so John Connor(the apparent savior of the war with the machines) would not even be born. In the second film, after John Connor had been born, two machines were sent back from the future. One was sent to protect John Connor, and the other was sent to complete the job the first one was sent to do, only it wasn't ordered to kill Sarah...it was ordered to kill the boy John Connor. In the third film, a machine was sent from the future to ensure that "skynet"(the program that will allow the rise of the machines to commence) is successfully set into play within the computer systems of the human world. But as always, another one was sent back to stop it from happening. What ends up happening? Machine is stopped, but skynet is still launched and in turn sends John into the underground to be "safe", but it was actually so he and his wife could produce, while in the underground facility, the resistance team that will be used in the final war against the machines.

Finally, in the fourth film, here is what happens. A machine is sent back through time, but has not knowledge that it is a machine, and is under the belief that he is a human fighting with the resistance. What happens next...??? I don't know! It hasn't come out yet!!!

What a good month! I can't wait....I know this may be a little premature for the month of June, but just as excited as I am for Angels and Demons....is the movie Transformers 2! Yes!!!!!!

Ok I will stop blabbering about nothing important and let you all get back to your important lives. Good luck, and hope to see you all at the movies!!

God Bless!

Fun!!!!

Oh yes, it is now time for all the fun...well, as much fun as I can have with school started again....meh.....

Anyhow, it is concert week, and our show opens tomorrow...wait, I mean today! First show is tonight at 7! I am very excited for this concert! I wish everyone could come, and see how amazing these kids are and how much passion they have for what they do! Its awesome!

Tonight after work, I ran down to the local theater, and watched the new movie come out called "Star Trek". I am not a huge trekkie or anything like that, but I was pretty interested in seeing this movie for some reason. I liked it! I liked it a lot! But the movie that has captured my little imagination and attention, is the movie coming out next weekend. "Angels and Demons" is probably one of the most exciting movie I think I have been waiting for! I will for sure be there at midnight, if there is such a show next week. I can't even think straight, I am so excited....

Movies....they are a good past time, if thats correctly used as such. But they do more for me than just create past time, or entertainment...they are a reminder to me of things...things past, and things future. They help me retain good memories of good times...how I miss those times...but alas, all in proper I reckon.

This has been a good week for me. I wish I could say something cool, or memorable about my week, but it was just an ordinary week, in the life of an ordinary man(if I can even be considered a man). And I am ok with that. It may be just "ordinary", but it is a stellar experience for me to live in my life...because it is just as nuts as anything I have ever been part of...and I have been part of something amazing, and I would never let that go for anything!

In time, all things shall take proper course....of that I am sure. :)

GOOD NEWS!

No I am not having a baby...besides, don't you need a wife for that kind of thing anyway...??? NO! I am not getting married either, you bunch a weirdo's! Jeez, get your heads straight! ;)

But, I did....in the most strenuous semester of my life, manage to pass all my classes! Yes!!!!! I was worried about my civi class, but I got a B, and I got a C in my astronomy class which I thought I was doing much better in. But that was my lowest grade! Granted I didn't get a 4.0....but that is quite ok with me I think, considering the load I was taking this semester.

I just thought I would give a "FINALS" update, and there you have it.!

May sunshine and a cool breeze, always accompany you, ever where you may find yourself...

-The Brown Guy-

What an un-godly hour....

...or is it quite the contrary? I think so... :)

This image is of the beautiful peak overlooking the valley where I live, and a harness of the greatest memory...

People say that times like it is now(2:45am), is supposedly "un-godly". But how is it possible to be such an ungodly hour, when I find the most understanding, I feel the most at peace, and I sense that those far away, could be closer? Over all I feel like those things that I need in my life might be closer to me when I am in these hours of the morning.

I feel sometimes I want to curse and bless technology at the same time. I love it because it allows me to get so much done at the reach of my hands, and the punch of computer keys. I enjoy a great deal of digital engineering. I spend a great deal of time, creating things of sentiment value for those that are dear and close to me. I create solid and tangible evidence of memory, so the very memories that are created, can be taken, and cherished for as long as technology is available. I blog....I never really felt the need for it in the past, didn't really want to get into it, but now that i have I appreciate it SO much more. It is the very means of communication to some whom I may not see or physically talk to for a very long time. I edit music at the touch of the mouse. I read detailed message updates from dear ones cherished. I speak to family across the country via 'webcam', and see how they are doing; nieces and nephews growing older, and becoming smarter...which reminds me...Jack buddy, Laki saw you in a photo, and asked why he never see's you anymore...? I told him that you had a lot to do, caring for and looking after some pretty special people in your life. I think He understands....he takes care of me more often than I admit...but I told him, that maybe, sometime later, he might get to see you again. I hope that is so...

On the other hand, I condemn the reach of my hands into the touch of technology, because the very reach of my hands, and the act of tapping the keyboard, composes a medley of internet sites, all of which flood memories of the greatest times...and yet some of the most foolish times...

I love where I am...I love where I am going...I wish only, that there was a hand I could share it with.

A friend asked me recently why I don't have a "lady friend", and why I am not pursuing in order to find myself a "lady friend"...I really didn't have much to say to that, except, that I feel like in the recent attempts of dating, and courting the few local girls that sparked any kind of interest, I didn't get anything in return but silent ridicule, and I often felt like I was used...I didn't really want to answer in that particular way to this friend of mine, and so I didn't. All I know, is that inside I have this burning sensation, and it tells me that my time is coming....I don't know exactly what that means, as I don't know what much of anything means in this bloody world...but i do know that the feeling I have, can not be ignored; To ignore, would surely mean to bring greater upset, and who needs more upset, especially now....

I keep my life in a busy, and very rigorous routine. As someone dear to me once wrote, "I don't like to upset that"...I involve my time and energy in to those things that satisfy the working mind, and yet keeps it yearning for more. But only one thing can truly satisfy the yearning SOUL...to share the soul...

Loss or gain...?

In the light of life, so cherished as it is, I find myself asking a simple question yet again. However, this time it is not to the mirror that I adore so much, but rather it is to the skies above, and the stars beyond....

Have I lost....or have I gained....???

I seek the comfort of heart, and find it in a name...not my name, but a name of such resounding beauty to me...

I search for life, and find it in the treasured sound of a voice, not my voice, but a voice of such spoken serenity to me...

I draw a picture of the dictated images of happiness that only my heart can illustrate, and it is no folly, that the picture is not of me...

I feel for the resolution of mind that every one longs to acquire and endure, especially through hard times...and acquisition is sustained, but not because of me...

...One has found the loyal dedication to his heart, and therefore drawn the happiness of life as only he can understand, and in doing so has found consolation in the solidity of his decision.

The results of such have essentially allowed me to invest time into other aspects of life that need to be completed. However, the aspect of social communion, has therefore become nearly non-existent, and that to me is perfect.

I have surrendered my desire for lesser things, in search of higher understanding and deeper fulfillment. In doing so, have I lost or have I gained...???

The Mirror...

Here I sit, a result of the day...bruised(literally because of a rough game of ultimate frisbee), broken(simply because in the above mentioned game, I re-injured the same shoulder that I had multiple times before, as well as a pulled hip flexor), and in awe of such a day that came with out warning, and without forgiveness. Do not be deceived by the words which I write here, for it is in my decision to make my day what it is, that makes me the very result of it.

Each morning as I prepare to observe myself in the rays of accomplishment, should I find such a thing in my day, I inquire of the emptiness that surrounds me and find interest in the silence of its answer.

"Are you there?"

To whom do I speak you might ask? And it is with a smile that I answer, with a question of my own. To whom would you like to be speaking with? To they that are in my heart, which could be anybody. It needs not be a physical person I speak to, nor need there be someone to respond at all. I speak with my heart, and therefore, feel the response from those whom I speak, also within my heart. I need not words. I need only the soft rhythm with which I hear the answer. If my heart sounds, so does the heart from which I seek the return.

Is it God? Of course! Is it love that you speak to? How could it be anything else?

And then in the dawning moment of each beautiful morning, I find the dawning moment of realization. Through the mists of each day, I look for the clearing. And it is there that I find it. The mirror...and upon looking at said mirror I find the answer! No....it is not my reflection that I see, for there is none to behold. But rather, it is in the unclear images, that I find what I need....the symbol drawn in the accumulated clouds, printed in to the face of reflection, so that I may see it every day...

Thus, it is without warning that my heart is taken, and even more so, it is not forgiving...for the emotion that is withdrawn so overwhelms the soul with great intensity that it can only bring tears...tears of welcome spirit...tears that have written a name across the holds of memory...

To dear God, I know you are there. It is not question nor doubt. It is only truth and conviction.

To dear love...I pray you return, for I miss thee...and my heart longs to hold you close...

The mirror becomes the point of choice, and because it is one near the first element of my day, it is also one near the last. It begins there as a choice...and ends there as the result....