...or is it quite the contrary? I think so... :)
This image is of the beautiful peak overlooking the valley where I live, and a harness of the greatest memory...
People say that times like it is now(2:45am), is supposedly "un-godly". But how is it possible to be such an ungodly hour, when I find the most understanding, I feel the most at peace, and I sense that those far away, could be closer? Over all I feel like those things that I need in my life might be closer to me when I am in these hours of the morning.
I feel sometimes I want to curse and bless technology at the same time. I love it because it allows me to get so much done at the reach of my hands, and the punch of computer keys. I enjoy a great deal of digital engineering. I spend a great deal of time, creating things of sentiment value for those that are dear and close to me. I create solid and tangible evidence of memory, so the very memories that are created, can be taken, and cherished for as long as technology is available. I blog....I never really felt the need for it in the past, didn't really want to get into it, but now that i have I appreciate it SO much more. It is the very means of communication to some whom I may not see or physically talk to for a very long time. I edit music at the touch of the mouse. I read detailed message updates from dear ones cherished. I speak to family across the country via 'webcam', and see how they are doing; nieces and nephews growing older, and becoming smarter...which reminds me...Jack buddy, Laki saw you in a photo, and asked why he never see's you anymore...? I told him that you had a lot to do, caring for and looking after some pretty special people in your life. I think He understands....he takes care of me more often than I admit...but I told him, that maybe, sometime later, he might get to see you again. I hope that is so...
On the other hand, I condemn the reach of my hands into the touch of technology, because the very reach of my hands, and the act of tapping the keyboard, composes a medley of internet sites, all of which flood memories of the greatest times...and yet some of the most foolish times...
I love where I am...I love where I am going...I wish only, that there was a hand I could share it with.
A friend asked me recently why I don't have a "lady friend", and why I am not pursuing in order to find myself a "lady friend"...I really didn't have much to say to that, except, that I feel like in the recent attempts of dating, and courting the few local girls that sparked any kind of interest, I didn't get anything in return but silent ridicule, and I often felt like I was used...I didn't really want to answer in that particular way to this friend of mine, and so I didn't. All I know, is that inside I have this burning sensation, and it tells me that my time is coming....I don't know exactly what that means, as I don't know what much of anything means in this bloody world...but i do know that the feeling I have, can not be ignored; To ignore, would surely mean to bring greater upset, and who needs more upset, especially now....
I keep my life in a busy, and very rigorous routine. As someone dear to me once wrote, "I don't like to upset that"...I involve my time and energy in to those things that satisfy the working mind, and yet keeps it yearning for more. But only one thing can truly satisfy the yearning SOUL...to share the soul...
2 comments:
Some of my best thoughts/ideas tend to come at the 'wee-hours' of the morning, and this coming from someone who is (for the most part) much more of an early bird than a night owl. It's strange at the clarity that can come at that particular time.
BTW: Beautiful picture :)
I miss that peak. There are times when I, too, up with the baby at night, am thinking of the fun times I had while in Utah, and especially on that peak. I remember going there once and dancing with a guy and everyone watched and I was so embarrassed and he could've cared less, as if we were the only 2 up there. I love that peak. Thanks for the memory job with that picture!
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